There are many reasons for an adult to be stupid. This article will focus on one particular type of person who is deemed stupid because of their irresponsibility, forgetfulness, incompetence and anything that is similar to which you may identify as behaving like a five year old.
The question I have been pondering is why a reasonably intelligent adult, meaning someone capable of supporting themselves and living independently cannot be trusted to do the simplest things and forgets little instructions or details, or is consistently clumsy.
How can someone be capable of working on a computer, doing technical tasks, have a reasonably intelligent conversation, yet repeatedly forget simple tasks or details in instructions.
This of course is not a universal explanation that covers all humans who are this way, but I think it does cover many. Only you can determine if you, or someone you know, would fit in this classification and then with what we will say here, can help improve their apparent intelligence.
Yes, I am rather rude and blunt in my use of the word ‘stupid’ but I am just verbalizing what everyone else is thinking.
If you have ever owned or managed a retail store, or have been a customer, you know what I am talking about when you have the frustrating luck to deal with someone who is just so stupid your mouth is hanging open in disbelief.
And now that we have established the type of person we are discussing, let’s move on to the explanation of why they can be so stupid at times. Please use this information as a guide for you to test my theory with each of these people you interact with, or in review of your own actions if you accept you are, or are viewed, as a stupid person.
When this person is told to do the simplest things, for example told to tie their shoe laces, they tend to get upset. They are insulted that as an adult, they are being told the simplest things that they should be able to do themselves. It could be that you ask that person to do a simple errand for you, and after telling them three times, you also write down the instructions such as to tell the laundromat to use a perfume free soap instead of the standard strong perfume.
They get upset and feel insulted, undermined, and basically fight back saying they are not a child and can remember that without the need of a note.
The end result, as many of you have experienced, is getting very perfumed cloths. “I told you three times, I wrote it on the paper with the cloths, how could you get such a simple thing wrong!”
My discovery is; because they got so insulted and felt you are treating them like an idiotic five year old, that their mind shuts down and does not hear the instructions or forgets in rebellion. Thus they enforce your opinion of their stupidity.
When you tell a five year old to take something and they refuse, you then say; “I am not going to let you have it.” And of course, the child immediately demands to have it.
When you tell one of these ‘adults’ to do something that they take as an insulting instruction implying they are stupid, their mind rebells and says; “I don’t want it.” referring to the instructions. And since they have rejected it like a child, it never reaches their mind, and you know the results.
They screw up, they look and effectively are stupid, and both of you know it. Their self-esteem drops to yet a lower level, and they maintain their reputation of being stupid and irresponsible.
Now let’s work towards a solution.
Nothing can be done by anyone other than the person with the problem themselves. The first step is for the stupid person to accept that they are effectively as stupid and childish as a five year old. By refusing to accept that that is their actual level of maturity with its rebellious nature to anything perceived as an insult, they can never change. It is a rejection of reality in place of living in a self-lie which always makes things worse.
After this first step, the normal human reaction is that they will reject this obvious truth by listing all the things they can do well, thus attempting to prove they are not that stupid.
One good action does not eliminate a bad one. Do NOT do this. Just accept the bad action without diverting your attention to a good one so you can ignore the bad one.
We return to the first step of total acceptance of the immaturity and childish nature regardless of physical age.
The proof is that you have a reputation because of your consistent actions. Thus just accept it, you are stupid.
Next, you must hold yourself back from responding either verbally or internally mentally, and when you feel insulted, to remind yourself that despite your desire or opinion that you are smart, the evidence of peoples opinion of you is more valid. If ten people think you are irresponsible, and you or maybe 2 people think you are great, the majority vote is likely correct.
Remind yourself of this every time you feel you are being insulted or undermined or ridiculed by being treated like an immature child.
This will naturally make you feel hopeless, inferior and destroy any threads of self-esteem you have and trigger an infinite flow of self-deprecation. Counter this with the hope and joy knowing that if you would finally accept the problem as it is, there is a clear and simple path to conquering this problem and transforming your mind into a reasonably intelligent and responsible person.
And that really is all it takes. The acceptance of the problem, the acceptance of the cause of the problem, and the willingness to stop acting like a child and refusing to accept that you simply are stupid. There is nothing wrong with that, because the cause of your stupidity is your rejection of being treated at the level to which you behave.
This will open your mind to accept every simple instruction as its given because you will accept that you deserve to be treated that way since you forget the simplest things, and then you will probably get things right because you will be open minded and paying more attention. Eventually, your reputation will change to a person who does what they are told impeccably, and you can finally grow up.