When we are young we ask the question of why am I here. This is normal for most people. Some have stopped asking and forgot they asked at all, and others still ask no matter how old they are.
We look for an answer, ask our parents, teachers, anyone, but do not find anyone who can give a reasonable answer. We eventually shut the door to that question because it becomes too painful or frustrating to have it on our mind knowing that we most likely will never get a good answer.
We know innately that there is more to life. That there is something greater to this world and we wonder what will happen when we die. We have these questions, but no answers. Because there is no answer we can find on our own, we have a need to find someone who can answer these questions for us.
We all look for someone who will guide and help us through life. That is a basic human need. As we grow up, we may forget what the real question is or put it aside as foolish, in other words we stop thinking about the purpose of life because we cannot answer it. Regardless, we still have a need to have a person close to us who we can rely on. With this person, we can relax knowing we are in good safe hands. That is a basic human need, we all need someone to follow.
The problem is that there are not many people who are strong and wise enough that you can trust. You are not going to easily trust an idiot. You want to trust someone, but there is no one worthy.
If you are really smart, you make up a good story and start your own church and then you get millions of people to follow you because they need someone and if you have a strong enough character they will follow you.
Hitler or Gandhi, dictators or leaders to freedom, or even pop gurus and TV evangelists, they had a strong character and people followed, some for the good and others for evil. It does not matter if you said let’s all get together and kill everyone or if you said love everyone. If you have a strong character, you will get many followers, this is an historical fact.
This is why in general, even in our work, we still need to follow someone strong. If you have a strong character, then you may have harmony and great success in your company because the need to have a strong person to lean on will be satisfied. Of course if you are a thoughtless boss, then it will not be so harmonious. However, if people feel cared for and respected in a company with a strong leader, they will have a special comfort and a sense of purpose.
Everyone is looking for a good boss who will be fun to work with. If you can be that boss, you will have a strong, loyal and highly successful team and company. Even though some of my companies were small, the representatives from large corporations asked to work for me, even at a greatly reduced salary, just so they could work with me.
One door shuts out many passions.
As the door to the question of what is the purpose of life is shut, it also shuts out other parts of the personality. Each person is different, some may stifle their talent to paint, for music or not be able to hear when they are wrong and become stubborn or arrogant. Perhaps you developed a tendency to always pick the wrong direction or have bad judgment or no self-control. The possible side-effects are unlimited. Creativity and motivation are always dampened. Most people know that as you get older, you just don’t have the motivation that you did when you were a curious child.
We can see proof of this concept in the physical body. If you have an injury that does not heal, perhaps you get tennis elbow and the movement of your arm is limited, your body will eventually stop feeling the pain by adapting to the limited movement and thus restrict you. That is what happened to me. At first the pain was constant, then eventually it only hurt if I moved my arm beyond a certain range of motion. So I adapted to a limited movement but no longer felt the pain. Me being who I am, noticed this and then worked on the problem to restore full range of movement and heal the pain permanently. I say this not to gain your praise, but to show that we can break out of these handicaps that we unconsciously adapt to.
The pain will stop, but your life will be limited within that range of experiences. It is the same thing with this unanswerable question. You have the question, you cannot find an answer, so you stop feeling the pain of the need to know, however the question remains, locked away from your conscious mind. Because our thoughts are so intermingled, as we lock up one question, we also lock up other thoughts, feelings and abilities. Using the arm as an example, when the arm movement is limited, the finger movements will also be limited because the muscles and tendons which control finger movements are connected to and go through the elbow.
That is all fine and clear from any physio therapy point of view. Our work here is the mind and personality, and eventually to that elusive thing which seems to haunt our thoughts, the soul.
When the most important question you can ask is given up, “what is the spark of life”, then the your motivation and the spark for any question is also lost.
All you need to do is find the tendencies that you have which you cannot explain or seem to be able to correct, and if you can open the door to answer why you are that way and cannot change it, you will also find the question of ‘why am I here?’ still lurking unanswered but waiting to find resolution. When you find that, you will also regain your motivation for life.
The problem as you have already discovered is that is not so easy to do.
What happens is that with some of your natural abilities getting shut off, so do some basic simple levels of thinking. Here we explain why you may do something that you know is not right when it is pointed out to you. You see it and realize that it is so simple, yet in the situation, you have no ability to do otherwise, and you just repeat the same limited response. It is all connected. Shut down one part, and other simple abilities go with it.
Everyone is different, when they shut the door on one part, other parts go with it, but the other parts are unique to each person, hence we all have different abilities and different limitations. Everyone loses a different part of themselves when they shut that door. Maybe you have the ability to see but no ability to act. That is very frustrating, being fully functional in the physical sense, yet paralyzed in emotional or mental aspects that are so simple and vital to life.
Exercise
When you can see problems in your personality but you cannot seem to do anything about it, for example to speak up in a conversation, you must force yourself to do what you see you should but do not do.
Unfortunately it is that basic although difficult and clearly obvious. Before you write this article off as worthless, let’s try to look at it a little deeper.
What is the reason you do not speak up for example. You should of course replace this example with your own dilemma as you read. If you cannot find a reason, and that is why you have not corrected your problem, then maybe there is something here that can help you.
My proposal is that the essential question that we all have, “why am I here?” is still waiting for an answer.
Applied in Business and Life
I was asked how to build a good company with respect and harmony between all the partners and staff. The answer is in an essential need of the human condition. We need to know and we need someone who we can trust, have faith in and respect that they can guide us to the answer.
We replace the need to find the reason why our soul is trapped in a body and lives on this planet with a job or profession that keeps us occupied and gives us a sense of purpose. That sense of purpose is what we yearn for. If I cannot find a purpose for my life and existence, then at least I will take a purpose that gives my personality and life purpose.
If your work does not serve some useful purpose, at least one that you sincerely believe in, then you will find your life empty, lacking in some way, and the spark of life will not burn in you. Life will be dull and empty, you will have a minor dose of depression, be tired and need more sleep than your body requires, and just have a perpetual emotional inner itch that cannot be scratched so you get used to it and forget that it bothers you.
If you are a good leader, or find a good leader to follow, then you will get some sense of satisfaction and comfort. That is how to be a good leader, feed the need of people by giving them a strong pillar to lean on.
What makes a strong pillar is not just a pushy strong character. It is a person who has the balance of strong and gentle at the same time. But this leads to another subject, how to be a good leader in the sense of one who can excel as a human being and business person or simply a good parent. We will discuss that in another article.
This article is about finding the cause of the traits that you want to change, but cannot find a cause or cure. The cause is THE unanswered question.
We lose many of our natural abilities, similarly to having a great treasure and hiding it somewhere to keep it safe, then forgetting the hiding place. Eventually we even forget we had a treasure. Now all we know is that something is missing and we are handicapped in some way, but have no idea why or what to do about it.
The answer is in finding someone who you feel has the answer or strength of character that you can rely on and having a sincerely useful purpose or work. That appears to be almost impossible to find such a person, and so you are left with no other option but to cultivate that within yourself, that strength, that usefulness.
The first step which you can take is to find a way to be useful to someone in some way that you get a direct response of great appreciation. If someone is in severe pain, and you can relieve their pain, imagine the expression and gratitude you will get. Find a place to be that sort of service.
A friend of mine is a doctor in Quebec. The government pays the doctors and some work in clinics in the city where they see random patients, many of whom they never see again. He found this work very empty since he became a doctor to help people. He took up a 6 month post in the Arctic working with Eskimos. Later he told me how much he loved that because he saw the same people all the time in this little village. He saw kids get off drugs and alcohol due to his help, he saw peoples lives change because he existed. That made his life fulfilling and satisfied the burning question. He had a purpose!
The answer to the burning question is found in steps. This is the first step, to find a way to be helpful. As you take it and find the satisfaction for even an hour a week of volunteer work, you will also let out some of your other qualities that have been hiding behind that door as you begin to crack it open. Follow the results and desires you have to open the door wider each day.
I moderate a forum for people who have this question. Packaged in the form of reaching your goals, I present new articles daily with a new exercise for each week to resolve our inner unrest. Please join me on www.lawofattractionforum.net to explore this line of thinking.
Cultivate the inner to perfect the outer.
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