I have spent a couple of months visiting my father and I have come to see some very disturbing things about not just myself, but how our personality, and thus our life, is formed and lived.
As anyone who has spent enough time reflecting on their character and seeing their flaws (we all have flaws even if you don’t see or admit it) would say; “Why am I this way?”
Of course we all know that it is our circumstances that build up our character and personality, and we learn from our parents and environment, but it goes so much deeper. If you are reading this, then you probably do not consider yourself perfect or totally happy and balanced, so I will allow myself the freedom to say that you too have some deep rooted self-destructive characteristics you would like to change.
When I was young, I saw that I had many of the negative character qualities that I deeply disliked about my father, and I devoted my life to changing them, as the thought of being so selfish, arrogant and narrow minded, to name a few, was horrifying to me.
But now, decades later, although I feel very comfortable with having changed for the better much of who I was, I still see some flaws that I just cannot get past or understand how I got. The issues I face within myself are not things I have seen in either of my parents, nor have I ever experienced any events that would form me like this, so how did I become this way?
Now, my issue with the design of how we become who we are is that it is not our choice at all. This we all know. What really is nasty are the subtle things, the fears, flaws and underlying character traits which could be self-destructive, limiting, negative, or simply prejudice, that we do not see in ourselves.
I have seen my flaws, and I have been working on them, performing surgery on my own ego, which is very painful, but what makes it more painful is that I see where these flaws have come from. Hidden inheritance from someone who did not even know he had it to give!
This makes me seriously doubt a lot of the concepts of reincarnation. Why would I need to be saddled with my fathers issues which still plague him. Only now I see these issues in him because he hid them even from himself and only now as he is getting old, does he let some of his fears slip out.
What is the point of preventing us from evolving and succeeding in our goals, materially or spiritually, by inflicting us with the limitations of our parents? I totally disagree with the new age concept that we have to learn something and we need this obstacle to learn it. That is just a consolation to help people accept what they cannot explain or do not want to put in the effort to change.
If we are designed to evolve and awaken, then why make a system that infects us with limitations that have nothing to do with our experiences, but rather the experiences and fears of our parents? All we get are the hangups with no chance of change since we do not know the reason we are this way. Does that sound familiar?
The problem is that we didn’t have any personal experiences to be this way such as almost drowning as a child and now have a fear of water. How can we fix something that was never broken at some point in time, but we are defective to start with. We never know peace and freedom from the beginning because right from the start we are hindered.
There can only be one explanation. That our creator, the god of this world, or some forces that play a part in the design and creation of the human being, not the soul, just the human parts of body and ego, actually does not want us to awaken.
In the Narada Upanishads we find a very telling quote:
“As animals serve men, so these people serve the gods in the mistaken belief that they are different from the gods. The gods do not like to lose any of these human animals and therefore prefer to keep them in this state of ignorance.”
There are many other teachings which tell us that we, (our human aspect) are in reality a prison holding the spark of Divine Light for the purpose of giving the god of this universe his power.
Why do the mystical teachings tell us to control our desires, especially the sexual drive, and yet make that so overwhelming?
None of this matches the concept of this world and humans being created by a loving god who wants us to return to him. The evidence is quite the opposite. We are directed and driven to return to the truth of our nature, but the reality of our human existence is that we are so created to make us limited, flawed, defective and restricted by things that we have no chance of understanding or changing.
As the new testament says; “For those who have eyes to see and ears to hear.” Open your eyes and mind, look at yourself, at what it is to be a human, at what restricts you personally, and reconsider your view of what this world is really about. ‘The truth shall set you free.’
Just think, observe and form your own opinion. With this exploration, you may find the power to change. The power is in forming your own opinion by objective observation and reasoning. We are kept limited because we do not use that faculty, and only think we use it.
When I was just beginning on my spiritual journey I was in Turkey talking to a very devoted Sufi in his 70’s. I said to Ibrahim that I am far too intellectual and I want to shut down my mind and be purely in my heart. Since Sufism is known as a path of heart and love, I thought he would be the right man to advise me. His response was very objective and a fitting end to this article.
“God does nothing without a good reason. If he gave you a logical mind, then use it.”