Being Human Is So Unfair

I have spent a couple of months visiting my father and I have come to see some very disturbing things about not just myself, but how our personality, and thus our life, is formed and lived.

As anyone who has spent enough time reflecting on their character and seeing their flaws (we all have flaws even if you don’t see or admit it) would say; “Why am I this way?”

Of course we all know that it is our circumstances that build up our character and personality, and we learn from our parents and environment, but it goes so much deeper. If you are reading this, then you probably do not consider yourself perfect or totally happy and balanced, so I will allow myself the freedom to say that you too have some deep rooted self-destructive characteristics you would like to change.

When I was young, I saw that I had many of the negative character qualities that I deeply disliked about my father, and I devoted my life to changing them, as the thought of being so selfish, arrogant and narrow minded, to name a few, was horrifying to me.

But now, decades later, although I feel very comfortable with having changed for the better much of who I was, I still see some flaws that I just cannot get past or understand how I got. The issues I face within myself are not things I have seen in either of my parents, nor have I ever experienced any events that would form me like this, so how did I become this way?

Now, my issue with the design of how we become who we are is that it is not our choice at all. This we all know. What really is nasty are the subtle things, the fears, flaws and underlying character traits which could be self-destructive, limiting, negative, or simply prejudice, that we do not see in ourselves.

I have seen my flaws, and I have been working on them, performing surgery on my own ego, which is very painful, but what makes it more painful is that I see where these flaws have come from. Hidden inheritance from someone who did not even know he had it to give!

This makes me seriously doubt a lot of the concepts of reincarnation. Why would I need to be saddled with my fathers issues which still plague him. Only now I see these issues in him because he hid them even from himself and only now as he is getting old, does he let some of his fears slip out.

What is the point of preventing us from evolving and succeeding in our goals, materially or spiritually, by inflicting us with the limitations of our parents? I totally disagree with the new age concept that we have to learn something and we need this obstacle to learn it. That is just a consolation to help people accept what they cannot explain or do not want to put in the effort to change.

If we are designed to evolve and awaken, then why make a system that infects us with limitations that have nothing to do with our experiences, but rather the experiences and fears of our parents? All we get are the hangups with no chance of change since we do not know the reason we are this way. Does that sound familiar?

The problem is that we didn’t have any personal experiences to be this way such as almost drowning as a child and now have a fear of water. How can we fix something that was never broken at some point in time, but we are defective to start with. We never know peace and freedom from the beginning because right from the start we are hindered.

There can only be one explanation. That our creator, the god of this world, or some forces that play a part in the design and creation of the human being, not the soul, just the human parts of body and ego, actually does not want us to awaken.

In the  Narada Upanishads we find a very telling quote:

“As animals serve men, so these people serve the gods in the mistaken belief that they are different from the gods.  The gods do not like to lose any of these human animals and therefore prefer to keep them in this state of ignorance.”

There are many other teachings which tell us that we, (our human aspect) are in reality a prison holding the spark of Divine Light for the purpose of giving the god of this universe his power.

Why do the mystical teachings tell us to control our desires, especially the sexual drive, and yet make that so overwhelming?

None of this matches the concept of this world and humans being created by a loving god who wants us to return to him. The evidence is quite the opposite. We are directed and driven to return to the truth of our nature, but the reality of our human existence is that we are so created to make us limited, flawed, defective and restricted by things that we have no chance of understanding or changing.

As the new testament says; “For those who have eyes to see and ears to hear.” Open your eyes and mind, look at yourself, at what it is to be a human, at what restricts you personally, and reconsider your view of what this world is really about. ‘The truth shall set you free.’

Just think, observe and form your own opinion. With this exploration, you may find the power to change. The power is in forming your own opinion by objective observation and reasoning. We are kept limited because we do not use that faculty, and only think we use it.

When I was just beginning on my spiritual journey I was in Turkey talking to a very devoted Sufi in his 70’s. I said to Ibrahim that I am far too intellectual and I want to shut down my mind and be purely in my heart. Since Sufism is known as a path of heart and love, I thought he would be the right man to advise me. His response was very objective and a fitting end to this article.

“God does nothing without a good reason. If he gave you a logical mind, then use it.”

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3 Responses to Being Human Is So Unfair

  1. Jackie October 2, 2012 at 11:12 pm #

    Thank you for sharing, I especially like the quote from your devoted Sufi connection.

  2. Anjuli October 20, 2012 at 7:56 pm #

    I understand this paradox with benevolence… It is really so very hard to be a human being, if only we could just all be kinder towards each other… if only we really understood what that means. Why weren’t we just created perfect and equal to begin with… Why all of these adventures in cruelty?

    Evolution, both physical and spiritual, seems so very futile. And if we really do rise and fall together, then I have to wonder and ask of those on high… When shall the fallen rise, and why were they created to fall in the first place?

    This suffering… Wrapped up in this beautiful dictator called earth, is all we know of humanity… All but for a few fleeting moments of love, just enough love to leave you wanting more, but not enough to solve you. Perhaps there is nothing to solve, which is an anagram for loves… Which could mean something or nothing depending upon ones paradigm. Wisdom is born out of the heart… I know all magic is through the heart’s gateway, but I cannot say as to why… It just simply is… Until it isn’t … But only those that have expanded beyond our human limitations might be able to explain? How can we save each other if we cannot save ourselves… And can we really save ourselves without saving each other? What divine omnipresence would find eternal bemusement in watching a dog chasing it’s tail? Or a thought chasing a thought chasing a thought… When can we just be and let be… I am so deeply sad for us humans… We are all so beautiful and so lost… And so much so… That those boasting of being found break my heart even more. Enlightenment is but a fleeting moment… A flash, spark… Sometimes all we have is just a little flame to light our way…flickering within our heart… Burning alone, praying for the son to bring us home within the eternal light of day… Never again to hear the chorus of the stars singing us to sleep… No more lullabies… It hurts to sleep…it hurts to awaken, is there freedom from this human bondage? Or are we already free… and if so… Why would we choose this experience ? I can embrace being perfectly imperfect, but I can never embrace inequality… I can never embrace surviving at the cost of others demise… I cannot truly win when so many had to lose for me to do so. We are what we are… What else could we be?… This is what we have, and it’s slipping away moment by moment.

    • David Samuel October 20, 2012 at 9:57 pm #

      What a beautiful reply, thank you so very much.
      I can only say that pain and sadness come from a lack of understanding. The misconception of what life as a human on earth is really about causes infinite pain, but the truth is not something for everyone to hear, too many are not ready or willing.
      All I can say for sure is, we individuals are not evolved or aware enough to know what is right or best for anyone else. I choose to live devoted to my growth. Even if it is in living a path of karma yoga, selfless service, in submitting to the events of life and guiding myself in where I go, live and work, based on the needs of the time, this is all selfish and only for my own being. I call it ‘constructive selfishness’.

      Accepting that we puny humans cannot comprehend the immensity of all things gives me the peace that makes life bearable.

      One man’s poison is another man’s pleasure.
      This common saying actually will bring peace to any confused heart and mind.

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