Cause of Violence, Anger and Low Self-Esteem

There is no character trait or condition that affects one human that does not affect every human.  It is just a matter of degree.

The preceding statement  must be part of every sincere persons wish to improve oneself.

One of the greatest confusions about humans is their love for pain.  Either self inflicted or inflicted upon others.  Even if you may consider this statement completely foreign to your character, have you ever laughed or enjoyed a movie in which people are getting killed or hurt?  Perhaps sports in which there is some form of violence or aggressive component?  That is violence and so many peaceful people just love this sort of thing.

Be it Hitler or a little child who tortures ants, there is a sensation of power in inflicting pain and controlling another being.  That pleasure is the same, it is just a matter of degree determined by the individuals capacities.  One who feels helpless has an inner push to feel powerful.

Why are humans so twisted?  Humanity has never been different throughout history.  Tortures and atrocities have always been part of our species, and at the same time all the religions preach about being peaceful as those religious followers attend services and then go out and commit the opposite in the name of that peace loving god.  What can make a human act so contradictory to what they think they believe.  That is one question we will explore.

On a different track, let us look at a common teaching of all mystical and religious philosophies.   To be one with God, you must put all your trust in God alone, give up your ego and self will, have faith that God will provide all you need.  Only with full unrelenting faith in God can the seeker achieve unity with the Divine.

That means give up the need, desire and every aspect of trying to control the events that happen to you.  Deal with what comes, but whatever that may be, accept it as the will of God and be content with that.

This one  condition is all there is to achieve the experience of enlightenment even if it is temporary.  If you can be this trusting permanently, then your enlightenment presumably will last as well.

Such a simple thing, just one little trait of acceptance, that is all it takes, but so hard to do.   This is virtually impossible and any self examination will quickly find many reasons why you cannot do this.  To compensate, the mystical schools of old had requirements of the student to give up their name, family and all possessions, to virtually become dead to the life they had and be reborn under the full direction of their teacher.  This method of living was to help the student break their ego and have trust first fully in their teacher who they could at least see, touch and talk with, and then if they could truly give up their self will, they could attain trust in the invisible Divine.  Needless to say, despite the many who have undergone the level of giving up the world outwardly, the vast majority have not given up their need to be in control inwardly.

And here we have the root of our suffering, our ego  will simply not let go no matter how much we want to.  Inner conflict caused by fragmentation and dealt with by buffers and identification to forget our pain, let’s time pass by remaining in a conscious sleep or even coma so that life can go on.  Not much new information so far, but now let’s move towards a cause and possible solution.

What makes a person want to kill, destroy, fight, love violence, enjoy seeing others suffer? If that is the question, the answer is that it is obviously in their personality, but how did they get that way?

The answer is found in that our personality is formed when we are very young.   We do not often have a major change  in our character later in life unless a significant shock makes us see what we have is very wrong and change.  That can happen at any stage in our life depending on your personal will power that you are born with, but it may take a long time to eventually feel completely beaten and helpless.  As long as it takes for you to give up your need to control, is as long as you will suffer.

The solution is very simple, put others before yourself.  Wonderful, the type of answer that makes you want to slap the author and demand something useful!  I am hoping that this reading will give you enough to work with so that you can understand why that simple instruction is actually feasible and provides more for you than anyone else.

All things are a result of multiple components or conditions.   A child’s innate love combined with their youthful helplessness to help the one they love creates anger and potentially violence.   Or, depending on the character of the child, that could create a lack of self-esteem due to feeling helpless and therefore worthless.

Helplessness can also make the adult compensate by  demanding  so much that they will destroy or hurt themselves just to be rebellious to get their way.   The unconscious need to feel in control by opposing  whatever is presented, good or bad, is a source of  the self destructive nature.  This stems from feeling helpless and not realising that on the conscious level.

Fragmentation plays a part when you are feeling helpless by switching fragments to something else so that you do not see what you are doing or why.  Blinded with being opposing and justifying your actions with buffers, you destroy your goals very easily.  Self-lying now plays its part by justifying through imagination that the other person is a control freak or trying to cheat you, or any number of reasons to justify your demands, and buffers then come in to distract you so that you do not see how you are in fact  loosing when you think you are winning.  Controlling another person is not winning, winning is determined by the outcome.

The ego has a big part to play in this working with buffers and false teachings which bring up the justifications of having rights, boundaries, and the demand to be acknowledged as equal and respected.
All this may sound reasonable, but only a little objective reasoning is required to see how this will cause conflict and is actually a demand for other people to behave as you want them to fit into your boundaries.  Strangely enough, people rarely turn the tables on their requests and think how they would feel if being asked the same things.

The reactions due to all this misplaced justification will result in conflicts and tremendous confusion as the other person cannot understand why one would deliberately cause themselves harm just to be difficult.  This results in a long chain of events in life that result in our world with plentiful conflict, stress and anger.

My work with prisoners has tested and established this to be one of the causes of violence.  I spoke with a group of convicts who had committed minor crimes or acts of violence.  I was so impressed with each ones tender and loving nature.  In our group and one on one discussions I found them to be artists, musicians, and highly sensitive, emotional individuals. Consistently I heard the stories of being a young child and seeing their mother or sibling being beaten or mistreated.  The pain was that being so young, they were powerless to do anything about it and stop what they knew was terribly wrong.  As they grew up, there were further injustices being done, but the laws or teachers or whoever it was said they cannot and must not take any action to stop it as violence was wrong.   That built up until their love for the abused overwhelmed the demands for peaceful patience and the only possible way to stop the injustice was to violently attack the attacker.   At this point, a violent reaction has become the only way to reply.

There are some cases when they have felt so helpless that they have been driven to drink or drugs to numb that pain, and of course, in an intoxicated state, self control is no longer present and the fists flew.

Other people have had the opposite reaction.  Similar circumstances of helplessness in witnessing injustices have given some people a very low level of self worth.  Imagine that you are 8 years old and are watching your father beat your mother.  You know that your father will beat you to death  if you intervene, and so you do nothing.  Just watch what is going on.  How helpless you are, and that is a physical fact, however your self worth has just dropped to the bottom because you have not acted, you did not even try.  The same goes for a verbal fight or emotional manipulation which could be from a woman to a man.  Perhaps a group of bullies in school picked on the nerdy kid and you wanted to be part of the group but knew that what you are doing is wrong.  Even not speaking up is wrong, but you protect yourself.  You know you have been party to such an action and that destroys your opinion of yourself at that young age.  There are many ways in which a child can witness such injustices and be emotionally destroyed.  Then it is matter of other circumstances which include a persons physical size and sex, as to their becoming a violent offender or a severely depressed , closed minded or paranoid for example.

Now we can look at a solution.  And here you shall be disappointed.  There is no miraculous cure to help all the suffers of this condition.  Certainly there are a host of drugs, or a lobotomy, that works wonders, but I do not advocate either.  A cure that is merely a cover of the illness is not a cure, it is just hiding the truth until it comes out later.  Maybe you don’t mind a life drugged up, then fine that is each ones choice.  And in many cases, it may be that the offender is better off drugged or locked up to protect society, I am not giving a blanket comment on every person in the world.

But there is a cure for those who wish to take it.  The cure is long and hard, it requires a significant change in attitude AND action.  It is basically giving up completely on trying to control life.  Needless to say there is far more to it than these few words.  This is not even possible to begin to do without other training and development.  If you want to fly, you first have to grow wings.  A human can grow these wings, if you really want to.   How long that takes is up to you.  It is not a matter solely of time, it is based on effort.  Time and effort together.  The more effort of a higher quality, less time.  I will now outline the steps but not the full teaching on each step as that has been given each in their own lesson.

The quality of effort is sincerity.  So the first step is to develop sincerity to yourself and everyone.  That is done by the practice of respecting all things and all beings.

Sincerity also requires the end of self lying.  Do you really want to change, do you want to end the pain in your life and be able to fly so to speak.  Flying is easy if you have no mass.  Emotional mass is what prevents the heart from flying.  The heart can fly in love, when it is free from pain.  Emotional mass is the ego and fears, those must be eliminated.  See the teaching on eliminating negative emotions.

We should take a side step here to mention something about love very briefly.  John loves Jane and Jane loves John.  They are a couple in love.  But why does John love Jane and not everyone love Jane or why does John not love everyone?  When two people think they are in love, do they really know what love is?  Now I have established that I am speaking of love on a different level than people who confuse it with physical drives which instil strong emotional responses.

Very briefly as I said, if you have love in you, you can love everyone. This does not happen  because you have so many conditions and fears which make you not pure enough to even begin to know what this level of love is.  That is what we are trying to cure, the impression that what we think love is versus what real love can be.   If you are worthy to be truly loved, then almost everyone would love you.  This does not happen because not many people are worthy of this love as well as the rarity of anyone being at a level where they can recognise that quality of person.

Normally love between humans is perceived due to physical attraction, companionship of shared interests, or simple desperation.  “Why did you marry him?  He asked.”

To continue, we shall state clearly that real love is only felt on the level of your Unified Being.  The heart is the veil to that Being.  The heart, using this word but obviously meaning the invisible heart and not the physical organ,  is the emotional centre.  By being an emotional  centre, it must  harbour ALL our emotions, positive and negative.   Our hearts are so dirty that our Being can’t see the light of day, or real love.

Back to the cure.   Eliminate negative emotions as mentioned which has its own lecture and lessons and exercises.   Determine what you really need, find your true goals.  What do you need to achieve those goals.  This must be done without self-lying.

Proceed on the work of eliminating fragmentation, buffers and identification.  Learn how to understand words which is one of the core teachings of my work.  This will eliminate negative conflicts and emotions by a significant percentage in a couple of weeks.  That gets rid of all the surface negative energies and then you can work further to uproot the deeper negative emotions that are hindering your life.

Attain freedom from concern of what anyone thinks or says about you.

And finally, give up control.  That means giving up asking questions that you already know the answer to but do not like the answer.  Accept reality, have an objective view and understanding of all things.  Give up believing in what is false and live only for what is true, (again, a lesson was given on that subject).

And to do all this, you need a teacher and companions on that path who have the same devotions to their growth.  You cannot achieve this alone.   A Journey of two days with a guide will take two hundred years on your own.

This paper contradicts the entire philosophy of positive thought and how your thoughts affect your life.  That is also something I believe in and have proven, our thoughts do in fact influence our life conditions and mental emotional state.

How do we deal with this apparent contradiction to have positive thoughts to achieve our desires, what you want and when,  which can only work when mixed with the other necessary ingredients,  positive thought alone will have no affect at all.  Dealing with that attitude towards achieving our goals in life versus the complete acceptance of whatever happens for the achievement o unity with the divine.   These two obviously are directly opposed to each other.

The resolution of this is in the object of your desire, what you actually want to achieve.  Things in the world or unity with the divine.  That is the real question.  And that determines what you are going to do.

Positive thought alone is nothing, it will do nothing to help you.  It is only an illusion that you are putting in your mind and thinking that if you believe it will happen while you mind Is plagued with a vast number of other thoughts which are completely contradictory to the positive thought and success of the goal.

Before you can even begin to think about using positive thoughts as an effective way of altering your life, you first have to understand how that works.  When you understand that fully you may se how these two concepts of bringing your positive thoughts to achieve your goals versus having no real strong desires but rather accepting what comes, to achieve divine understanding can actually work together.

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2 Responses to Cause of Violence, Anger and Low Self-Esteem

  1. Monkeycow December 10, 2009 at 4:59 am #

    Bravo! “When you understand that fully you may se how these two concepts of bringing your positive thoughts to achieve your goals versus having no real strong desires but rather accepting what comes, to achieve divine understanding can actually work together.” Shall I put it this way: Impose your positive thoughts in what you are doing now and be positive for what you are doing, but don’t care too much about the outcome and just accept what will come? That’s my way of how they “work together”:-) Hopefully I’m not too far away from what you are trying to say in your article.

    • David Samuel December 10, 2009 at 10:29 am #

      Yes, you have that right, don’t care too much about the outcome and just accept what will come. That makes life a lot better for you and the other people you interact with.

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