Being around very negative people is extremely draining. I wanted to understand why, and how to be able to resist that. So I decided to stay with a very negative person for a few weeks.
I believe that we must take full responsibly for everything in our life, as states Ethic #1 in Ethicalism. Thus, if I feel down or negative, I should not blame it entirely on the person I am with for bringing me down. This led me to my search to find if there is any way that I could be responsible for my drop in energy.
Negative people and negative energy is very heavy, depressing and basically contagious in its depressing effect just like someone in the shower splashing someone standing just outside the shower.
Negative people are filled with fear. Fearful people are boring to be around. Negative people are thus boring to be around. Why is being bored so bad? It’s a waste of time.
And so, aside from the obvious wet blanket of their negativity, there is a feeling of wasting time and life by being with someone who is so negative that nothing good can come of it.
Nothing positive, creative or pleasant at all can happen with this person, and so I am wasting precious opportunities of being happy or productive, or relaxing, by being with them.
So is their negative energy effecting me? Or, is it my own feeling of boredom which brings regret, about wasting my own time.
I have not found a way to be with a negative, fearful person and stay positive. Their energy is too powerful in effecting me. But I am still unsure if it is merely getting wet while being in their rain of misery, or is it a self-generated feeling of waste and boredom, thus a self-attack that makes me feel bad.
I think it is a combination of both, simply being wet in the rain, trapping my eagle of positive energy in their web of misery, and regret about wasting my time. And so there is nothing to be done other than avoid that type of negative person and let them figure it out or stay miserable. It’s a decision of using time wisely.
Perhaps spending time with them only feeds their negativity because it is getting them attention, and so in your desire to help, you are making things worse.
It also depends on the depressed person, if it is a phase or, their basic character that probably will never change.
We must use our time wisely because it is so limited. Being depressed by being under that negative power is simply like drinking out of the Ganges river in India, knowing what you are doing and the illnesses you will get, but you do it anyway.
The bottom line is, we need to take care of ourselves in the sense of not doing things that are harmful, since life is difficult enough and so draining for most people already.
Trying to ‘save’ other people is often a diversion from looking at yourself. You are not God, it’s not your place to lift someone up when all they want to do is pull you down.
Seek out positive and uplifting people to be with, and if you can’t find anyone, then be satisfied with yourself, with people in schools or groups or clubs doing things you enjoy; hiking, watching movies, or whatever it is you like.
Your happiness is in your own control, and it is largely determined by who you associate with. Humans are a social creature and need companionship. Do not let your need make you a drug addict and ruin your life by being with people who bring you down.
Find happy places and people to be with, and your life will be happier as a result of good company.