Everything in life is a dichotomy, we live in a world of opposites; hot/cold, hard/soft, cruel/gentle, everything must have its opposite in order for it to exist, this is nature.
The topic of this article is the idea of finding happiness in self-satisfaction, a feeling of being worthy which I feel is a counter productive method in a certain way. Rather, I believe that we should aspire to its opposite which is feeling unworthy. Indeed a strange concept, but this will make sense as we proceed. It is a matter of the lesser ego, the immature part of our personality that thinks it knows best.
In the question of ones personal development, it is generally the case that to achieve greater heights of happiness or awakening there is nothing we can actually do towards achieving it. Rather, we must stop doing that which is contrary to permanent happiness.
You cannot do things to make yourself feel stronger and self-confident if you have a lack of self-confidence. It is tantamount to drying yourself while still standing in the running shower. The solution is to stop the perpetuation of your low self-esteem.
We are all faced with a dilemma that came up in a discussion I had with someone about feeling worthy. We were discussing her low self-esteem, that she does not feel worthy of anything or anyone, and I commented about something and myself and how I know that I am not worthy of anything or anybody. She got very upset with me saying; ‘how could you say that, you are the most worthy person in the world.’
Thank you, but the reason that I may appear that way is because I know I am not worthy, yet I have a very high self-confidence and no trace of inferiority within me at all, I am extremely comfortable with myself, and that is because I know I am not worthy of the air I breath.
This sounds very contradictory to most people. It does not make sense, but that is the dichotomy of life as a human being trying to be more than just human.
The solution to any problem alludes you only because you are looking for a logical answer when the real solution is totally ‘out of the box’.
In seeing that as an individual we are really no different than any other individual, and objectively all we do is just take from our planet, or for those who give, still take more than they give. When you look at your life, what you do, give and take, are we really helping the world in the long term?
We are a nasty parasite to the planet, destroying the environment, consuming the natural resources at an alarming rate, especially if you consider that it is only in the last hundred or so years that we have started to use oil and other natural resources to feed our ever growing demands, catching fish to the point where the oceans will be void of fish in another 50 years as one example. We really are not a worthy creature to be alive on this planet.
In the acceptance of this objective reality of myself as a human creature which lives on this planet, as well as within society, how good am I really? The balance is…what can you expect from a human being, that is part of a species which is destroying the planet and killing every other creature on it just for its selfish survival. In that objective sense, we are not worthy of anything or anybody.
The key is, happiness comes when we are objective about everything, about ourselves, about humanity that we are part of, objective about other people and their lives, experiences, pains and sufferings which make them act in the nasty way they do, which we then take personally and get upset by or insulted and feeling inferior to. We are not being objective and seeing them as just speaking words as they would burp and fart their pains and suffering out.
If you think about it, when one is constipated or has gas, if you will forgive the analogy, it is not pleasant for anyone else in the room, but they feel much better letting it out.
The human being is just this, and objectively we are not worthy of anything, knowing this objective reality, I can live in a way which is attentive to the extent of my best capacity at the moment. We can only do the best we can do, and part of that is to become a little better everyday, as long as you do that, and every day observe what you have done wrong in your opinion, and try to improve on that tomorrow, that is as good as we can expect for a human being.
Combining the objective reality with our best efforts to improve on that, we can know that we are truly not worthy and at the same time not feel unworthy or inferior and inadequate in any way. Short is only short in comparison to tall.
Accept the dichotomy of life and accept it. In that way, things that appear contradictory will no longer be contradictory, someone can say you cannot do that but of course you can. It is only convention, society or someone that does not want you to do that who says you cannot. But in reality you can. You may have to pay a price for it, but you can do anything.
In this way we can accept ourselves in an objective light and in that objective light of truth you will find that life moves a lot smoother and you can eliminate all your self attacks and self hatred that is born and based in your own imagination.
A comparison view
People with low self-esteem and strong self-hatred take it personally, as if they are personally a bad individual and other people are better than they are, which is a negative effect of feeling unworthy. I, on the other hand, feel unworthy as a human being, objectively knowing that every single human being is unworthy. It is not personal for me, it is objective as being an individual of a species that the entire species is unworthy, and so as an individual, I feel fine about myself, but the whole species is flawed.
The point of this lesson is that in transferring your feelings of unworthiness from you as an individual among a worthy species, you see yourself as unworthy due to the unworthiness of the entire species to which you as an individual belong.
Your personal self-esteem can be raised and strengthened knowing that it is not you personally, but just something you can not overcome because it is part of your humanity.
By digging yourself out of this self-pity, you will have the strength to improve yourself as an individual with the new flow of emotional freedom. But with self-pitying unworthiness of the individual you are, all you do is use all your energy to dig yourself into a deeper hole of self pity, hopelessness and depression.
When you accept what you are today and try to improve yourself for tomorrow, and that is about as good as we can expect from a human being. Accept that you are a short person and can never each the top shelf where they hide the cookies and move on. But if you wish you were taller, you will just suffer forever.
When reality is accepted, we can start to do something about it, and then give back to the planet, plant trees, conserve resources, help species regain their numbers, there is much we can do to help the whole planet and every living creature all grow and survive together.