I disagree with the concept that everything happens for a reason. I think that everything just happens and we give it meaning by our response to what happens.
The river flows with fresh water. We give it meaning by taking a bucket and collecting the water to drink, otherwise, if we let it flow without taking action, it becomes salt water when it reaches the ocean and becomes undrinkable. It no longer has meaning as the fresh water turns to salt.
Things are always just happening. We give it reason by how we respond to it and the manner in which we respond.
It is not a common thing for people to say that everything happens for a reason. That is because there are so many things happening every moment that we could give reason to, which could have tremendous value, but we ignore and just let blow by like a leaf in the wind.
Life has lost focus and value because we focus on only the big events, the emotional situations, the things that give us what we are looking for, or conversely, as an excuse to deal with problems or avoid doing unsavoury tasks.
We only say that things have a reason so that we can deal with a difficult, or accept a happy situation.
A Kabbalah saying is; ‘Not even one leaf falls from a tree that does not have a spiritual significance.’
Indeed this is true, everything, even a falling leaf, happens for a reason, even if that is nature in the process of growth and decay. It takes energy from the soil for the tree to make a leaf, so the tree can live from chlorophyll, and then the leaf dies and decays, returning to be new soil.
I believe that life is a myriad of events simultaneously and randomly happening at each moment. It is up to you which event you focus and act upon that gives your life meaning, instead of just passing time.
Here is an analogy of your life. Are you just watching TV, watching a sports game, or are you playing a sport, and if you are playing, how hard do you play, how much effort are you putting in, do you try to win or just play for fun to keep moving and pass time.
Every thing is just happening and you give it reason by your choice of participation, observation or simply ignoring it.
Look at every single thing that happens in the day, and challenge yourself to find something that you cannot find a reason for.
The ants and worms dig holes in the ground an aerate the soil. The clouds offer moisture in the air to bring rain, these are things you can understand. But now, what about the things you cannot understand, the things you cannot see the reason for. Just because you cannot see it, does not mean it does not exist, you just have to explore and look for the reason.
Thinking that something has no reason simply because you do not know what it may be is a foolish closed mind.
Your new task is to find a reason for anything and everything. It is the game you can play when you are waiting for someone and they are late. Don’t get angry, there is always something useful to do in every moment.
There is no such thing as wasted time. Time is useful or wasted depending on what you do with it.
Their being late can just make you angry and you waste the time, or you can turn the waiting time into useful introspection and observation time, perhaps bringing you insights so when they arrive, you can say; ‘Don’t worry about being late, everything happens for a reason.’
Then, when they arrive, they are there. Are you with them now that they have arrived regardless of the time, or are you going to stay angry because they made you wait and waste even more time.
Everything just simply happens, your attitude towards it is what gives it reason and meaning or makes it nothing at all.