The illusive object of desire for everyone despite all the other desires that are expected to bring us the ultimate one is, happiness.
This simple article will explain a few step by step points, very simple, yet powerful enough to change your life relatively quickly.
Happiness is the opposite of pain, and as you open both the hot and cold taps, you can make the water hotter by reducing the cold, without even touching the hot tap.
When we eliminate negative emotions and anger, we automatically become happier. And so, let’s discuss how to end the normal day to day anger and frustration we all face.
First: Emotional problems, getting angry or upset, are caused by not accepting reality.
Second: Most of the time, people are in general; not good, not smart, not conscious, not caring about anyone except themselves, and most importantly have no idea, meaning they are not aware, of what they are doing when they do something rude or hurting another person.
Third: Very few people actually work hard or are smart enough to really do the big jobs and know what to do. That is why, using an analogy, there are so many people in the factory floor working and only a few people in the office running the factory.
And Fourth: If you expect everyone to be as good, hard working and smart as you, who is going to work for you and do all the necessary tasks that you do not want to do?
These four simple and obviously true facts are reality, which is why people get angry, frustrated and suffer, because humans above all else, seem to desire even more deeply than happiness, to avoid reality.
Instead, we prefer to live in an imaginary utopia and when the software fails, anything breaks, or someone does anything other than we want or expect, we get so angry and exclaim; ‘How can that happen?’ ‘How could anyone do that?’
I would reply to that exclamation with; “You are absolutely correct, how could anyone expect another person or anything made by a human being to work perfectly, you foolish emotional masochist.”
The exercise to eliminate frustration is quite simple and can be done in under five minutes.
Take a few moments to consider your values, morals and expectations of how things should work and how people should behave, make a list. Next, think of anyone in the world, a real person, not a hollywood or cartoon character, including yourself, and find someone who fits that description.
If you still get angry and frustrated, and this exercise has not helped you, you may need a little stronger medicine. Actually, the medicine is not stronger, it just requires a longer dose. The stronger prescription is to do this exercise until you are cured, as long as it takes. Do not worry, you cannot overdose. It worked for me, and is quite old, I learnt it from a buddhist parable which goes back 2,500 years.
There was a young woman whose baby died only months old. She was so overcome with grief, she could not accept her baby was dead. She went to every person she saw asking for medicine for her sick baby. People just shook their head in sadness and compassion until one person suggested she go to see the Buddha, he would have the right medicine.
And so quickly as she could, this distraught young woman went to Buddha with her baby and asked for medicine. He said, yes, I can give you the medicine you need, but to make it you must get me some mustard seed from a house that has never seen death.
Elated, the woman went door to door asking for some mustard seed, and everyone quickly gave her some, and then she asked if anyone in their family had ever died. Needless to say, she returned the seed and went to the next house.
This went on for days until finally it sunk in and she came to accept, death is an unavoidable part of life. Everyone has seen death in their family, the old and sometimes babies like hers.
Finally, in accepting reality, the woman accepted her baby was gone, did what was customary, and eventually her pain healed, even if her love and memory remained.
Your medicine is the same, do the exercise I have described, and if you do it long enough, even your thick head, resistant ego, denial of reality and wish to live in Utopia will no longer be able to resist reality. In that moment, you will be free of pain.
The caveat is, humans will never cease to amaze you at how stupid they can be, but now, you can shake your head and laugh rather than burn up your own life.