Stress is a learnt weakness, it is not natural. It is natural to be able to handle everything calmly. How can we overcome this habitual stressful reaction?
We must put in effort to feel stress. It is fully self-created and self-maintained. Stress is not natural.
The only reason to be upset is to be upset for either the adrenaline charge or to control the situation and other people. It just gives your mind something to be occupied with.
Negative thoughts grow on their own if we do not put effort into thinking positive thoughts. Try this exercise. When you have a negative thought, justify it by finding a VALID reason for it, if you cannot find a valid reason, then you have to let it go.
Feeling stressed is almost a hobby for many people. You will always have an image in your mind. We live in a world of duality and balance. If your thoughts are not positive, they will be negative. Negative thoughts are a habit and we are addicted to the stress of it, because we accept that life is stressful. That is what people say and you have come to believe is normal.
With this false belief, we make sure we are often under stress of some sort. If there is nothing to worry about, we can create something easily enough.
Is that person upset with me? Have I done something wrong? Why haven’t they replied to my email? Maybe my last email was rude?
Once we get the taste of the adrenaline from stress, our body likes it and wants more. It is like cigarettes, we want to quit but can’t. You are a drug addict and must quit. The power to quit is intellectual reason and logic that cannot justify the addiction.
There are many kinds of stress, seven of them have been detailed in my book Taming your Dragons. This little talk is the underlying foundation of all types of stress. You may not want to admit it is this simple, but in fact it is and your addiction to stress, through the use of buffers, will twist your mind into denying this lesson. All I can say is that you have the freedom of choice if you choose to use it.
Stressful situations are never void of the possibility of change, if you are willing to do what it takes to change. You have that freedom. Long gone are the days of the religious wars of conquest, threatening people to convert to Christianity or Islam as the case may be, or die. Perhaps the history of the worlds two largest religions still holds a fear and control over us. The decisions you face are in your control and are no longer made with a sword held to your throat. Put things into realistic perspective.
The question is if you enjoy the stress more than you desire inner peace. If that is the case, then your stress is pleasant to you and should not be stressful, rather it would be enjoyable and you should feel exhilarated. It is as simple as the person who goes to the doctor complaining that their leg hurts when they put their foot behind their head, and the doctor says; “So don’t do that.”