Do you feel like this; I have no hope for my life, I lost my job and am too old to get another one, I have no money, I cannot find a partner, I am tired, life sucks, I live in a dump and cannot afford a better place to live, my car is an old junk that keeps breaking down and I cannot afford to fix it. On and on it goes, if not all of the above, many people would say they feel at least some of these things and thus have given up hope on a happy life.
Think about this; your pain is because all you think about is you and your future in every aspect of your life. You have no hope because you do not see things getting better. The less hope you have, the worse you get and so you have less hope each day. A snowball rolling down to hell.
What if it was not all about you? Instead, What if you devoted your life to helping others, and are willing to suffer or endure whatever it takes to gain something that will give you the ability to help many other people end their suffering. Then there is hope because you have the chance to be useful.
The hope that through your pain, others can have a better life, perhaps even be prevented from suicide. This hope of helping others gives meaning and hope to your life, and that brings you out of the hopeless state.
The trick is to stop making it all about you, give up on yourself as in the exercise of vicarious pleasure through other peoples joy. Go to a place where you will see happy people, and having accepted that you will be alone, no one will come to you, there is nothing left for you to hope for yourself, perhaps you are in your last months or weeks of life, feel the love and joy that a young couple has for each other. Share the joy the child feels playing in the park. Vicariously feel the joy and love of others by not having a thought about what you want and do not have.
Accept that your life is for the purpose of giving other people joy. Through that, the greatest joy a person can have will be yours, and that is the joy of giving. This may sound a bit fluffy, but it is actually quite down to earth.
Isn’t it so, that when you give a gift to a child, or anyone, and that person is filled with joy because of the gift you gave them, you will also get tremendous joy?
The cure to your hopeless sadness will be in finding love, of course, we all know that. But as you are, if you are negative, you are not really fit for that cure. So to become fit, you must give up thinking about yourself, wallowing in self-pity and hopelessness, and turn your full attention to be willing to endure anything for the sake of finding a way to help others ease their pain. This is the way to break out of your hopeless projection and bring joy to your life. Then you can feel the great joy that everyone you see feels.
We all have many regrets and our thoughts just go in circles about all the things we regret. If you are serious and desperate enough to break this endless loop of being stuck in your regrets, you can try this exercise.
List everything that you regret. You can take some time to make this list, and then keep adding to it every single time a regret comes to mind. You must do this as long as you have any regrets. If something comes to mind that is already on the list, no need to list it again, but rather, make a tally of each time you think of it. Sort the list by how many times you thought of each regret and re-sort as needed.
Regrets build the framework of your prison. Each regret being another bar that keeps you trapped in your thoughts. The way out of a prison is to remove the bars. The way to remove a regret is to try for it again.
For each thing that you regret having missed or done that you should not have done, go do it, or apologize and fix it.
Regrets are a form of reminder of what you have to do. You could say that if you went to the grocery store and forgot to buy the milk, then came home and wanted a cup of coffee but did not have any milk, you regret having forgotten to buy milk. You can sit there grumbling about not being able to enjoy your coffee, or you can go to the store and buy some milk and be happy.
Of course, there will be many things you regret that you cannot revisit, but that is irrelevant to the fact that you can revisit many of them. At least you may be able to remove enough bars to squeeze yourself out of the cage of your thoughts, because the cage is small and you can only walk in circles as long as you stay in there.
The next aspect to the cure is to stop making more bars. This means that you must grab every chance and opportunity that arises, with wisdom of course.
1 List what you regret.
2 List what you want.
3 List what prevents you from getting what you want.
4 Then find out how you can change what is preventing you.
5 Now, go back to what you regret and try again.