To succeed in life, both in the world of business, relationships and other things, as well as succeed in the inner world, the spiritual world, you must learn to accept reality and your actions as they are without trying to make things fit your imagination.
Attain an objective view of reality. This is the biggest problem for people, they never want to accept objective truth, we prefer subjective truths. It seems that these days everyone wants to believe that they have their own truth and they call it truth when it is their personal illusion. On this planet, a tree is a tree, it is made of wood, and if you run full speed into it, it will hurt.
This is why people who excel in life are so rare while others live with troubles and desires that are rarely fulfilled. You must find the objective truth. This is the most important word that anyone can ever understand, objective.
Objective means looking at the object or situation as it is, and subjective means looking at the object as you believe it to be. Believing does not always change reality.
My father has the attitude that even if it is daytime and he says it is night, then he is right because he is the father. Perhaps this is why people want so much to change reality to their own imaginary idea of what reality is, it gives them a feeling of power that they can create reality rather than live under someone else’s illusion.
‘Better to live in my illusion than someone else’s.’ Unfortunately it is like a snow fort, real only as long as the weather stays below freezing, which means not real in a seasonal climate. Reality is something that is permanent.
Reality and truth are the same for the seeker. In business, we must look objectively in order to prepare for the possible problems. If you enter into a business venture thinking that all will be perfect without a day of trouble, or a personal relationship believing you will be without any disagreement ever, you know what you will end up with. The crashing disappointment has turned people away from business, made them hate money, closed their hearts so they can no longer love, made some into bitter old people because they cannot stand beating their head against a wall when nothing goes the way it should. Everything IS going the way it should, it is just that we do not accept reality of the situation.
When you are frustrated because things are not going the way you think they should, question who set up the standard of ‘the right way’. Perhaps that was an illusion to begin with. When you see this veil, you can remove it and see objective reality clearly. Once that happens you will be able to deal with all circumstances painlessly in order to achieve your goals because you will see them clearly and be prepared.
It is not the illusion, nor is it the reality behind the illusion; it is the veil that lies between that is the key.
This may be perceived as a negative view of the world, not so. It is true that you will begin to see that the world is not so nice a place, but that is reality. When it becomes depressing is when you are trying to live in an illusion that all is perfect and then it doesn’t work out that way. Your illusion is shown to be false and that is where the negativity arises, in the dream being show to be false rather than the truth of the situation.
I call myself an optimistic pessimist. I am always optimistic that things will go well, but I look for all potential troubles before I set out on a new venture, which could be seen as pessimistic. In this way, I maintain a very positive attitude, but I am prepared for the reality and if that occurs, there is no shock or surprise so I maintain my positive attitude.
If you view all things objectively, you actually do not see anything bad or negative at all. Everything is normal and this changes your experience of life to actually eliminate negative experiences and makes life much more pleasant because there are no rude surprises. Many people are suffering from depression because they are living in an illusionary world and get depressed when things do not work out the way they think they should. It would frustrate anyone to try and grab the apple off the table but never touch it because in reality it is only a holographic projection.
To attain an objective view of reality means that the world is not going to be exactly the way you want it to be, and most of all, you are not the way you believe or would like yourself to be, and you must accept that.
One evening in my school in Denver, I asked everyone if they where completely honest and never stole anything. One older gentleman, who I can say is probably one of the most honest men alive, said that he is very careful never to steal anything and is very honest. This gentleman worked for the federal government, an employer who normally labels everything as ‘property of the US government’. I then asked him if he took a pen home today that belonged to the office for office use. He did. It may not be a big thing, but it forces one to examine their own reality, which is always an illusion. His regret was not in stealing a pen, but in the realization that he is not as perfect as he believed he was.
Stealing a pen is not a big deal, but believing a lie is.
If you saw all the little lies you believe about the world, and yourself, it would be virtually impossible to live in peace. I can say that from experience. But the question is what do you want to achieve and what are you willing to do to get it. If you want a perfect life filled with peace, joy and success, which is what almost everyone wants, then you have to be willing to see the world and all situations as they actually are. And sometimes that means not getting what you want because that is not the best thing for the other person. It means sometimes giving up your fears and desires for the sake of another person because at that moment in time, another’s needs are more important than your needs.
The turmoil in self-exposure is temporary. Once you decide that you will live with truth rather than illusion, the disruption of peace goes because you have accepted the truth that you cannot be perfectly objective, but will forever continue to seek to improve. And that is an objective truth.
This way of living and seeing life will bring all the inner joy anyone could ask for. However, there are still moments of inner turmoil and pain. The difference is that with this way of seeing life, you feel the pain but it does not hurt. This is something that cannot be explained, it must be experienced. In order to develop this ability, there are all the other practices that I have taught, self-observation is one of the biggest and most important ones. Then there are all the little practices which help develop your ability to self observe that I teach in my courses.
The closest analogy would be to traveling on a long plane ride that you hate, yet you will endure because of the point of the travel. If you could sit there, cramped in the little seat, and just think of the destination, the warm sunny beach on a quiet island, then the limited space on the plane would not bother you as much. So in this same way, when you see the world objectively, and realize that what needs to be done at the moment is not what you want or what gives you pleasure, yet it is what needs to be done if you look objectively, then you can experience the difficulty and remember, this too shall pass.
Moments like this lead to years of joy and success.