Probably one of the most effective things you can do to quickly and profoundly alter your being and character is to catch yourself when you take anything to be about you.
When you take something personally, stop and try to see it as something that is not about you. Your body is a good example of what i mean.
Be it a compliment on your beauty or a derogative remark on your ugliness, and anything in between, see that comment for what it is, a remark on a very temporary state of your body, which in time will change, as will the body of the other person.
So to say that she will get what she wants because of her body, in the case of a very attractive woman, is nothing to do with the person, it is a fact about her body. This is not a comment on the quality of the woman, it is a comment on the body. If she does not like to be considered a sex object, she will get insulted or upset, feeling that is not fair, but fair or not, it is a fact. We must see all things from the objective factual view rather than the insinuation on the person.
This is identification. She identified with her body. But if she could look objectively and see that her body will get her many special treatments and that has nothing to do with her as a person, it is just how humans are, in that objective moment, she will have to be present and objective to see that.
When you do this, you break the normal human self centred way of thinking for that moment. Subjectivity is replaced with objectivity.
We must remember that we are nothing, we do not really exist in the way we see life and the world, because we see everything from the material, mortal and personal ego point of view, but that changes, ages and dies, nothing is permanent. If we identify to impermanent things, we will suffer, as is the normal state of human existence, no one can deny this.
But if we can break our view that everything we interact with, everything anyone says or does, is all about you in some way, taking it based on your personality be that strong, egoistic, hedonistic or self-conscious with low self-esteem, you gain an objective life, which is free from being effected by what anyone says to you.
Life in prison is a subjective life. An objective person is free.
Make your daily focus to remove yourself from every comment or event, take nothing personally, even if it is about you or your body, and see it objectively so that you can understand and see how other people see it from their subjective view.
In this way, you become free and at the same time, will have the clear insight of what is in another person’s mind, and then will be able to resolve all conflicts and problems with clear sighted creativity.
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