Anger management is a huge issue and business. There are so many books and courses on this topic and yet, there is no reduction of anger in the world.
As you may know from reading my other work, I do not agree with anything in the contemporary methods of anger management, because that is all just containing and dealing with anger when you feel it. Rather, my methods are about eliminating the source of anger so you do not get angry to begin with.
This article will discuss the link preceding the emotion of anger and the event, in order to explain that anger is not a thing in itself but rather that it is a result of something, as you probably know, but I want to show that the cause of anger is not what you think it really is. In seeing what anger really is, or its true source and the reason you get angry, this should be a major step to its reduction in your life.
Anger is like a fart and a fart is only a byproduct of the food you ate. Therefor, anger is a byproduct of something. The problem is that you may think your anger is a result of a situation, something that happened or what someone said, but that is not the immediate preceding cause of the anger. There is a step in between.
This is why you stay angry for a long time, because you do not see the missing link between the event and your anger.
Confusion is the food that causes the noxious results known as anger.
Confusion of a situation you cannot understand about an event or problem, or how a person could do or say what they did, or not do the simplest of things, can drive you crazy. That frustration is vented as anger. You are not angry, you are confused, and the confusion builds up like a volcano and eventually explodes.
The reason you cannot understand is because you would not do it that way, or you would do that differently so you expect everyone to do what you would do, to be like you. Or equally common is that your fixed opinions based on your limited knowledge of all things in the world close your mind to accepting that there may be different ways for different people about anything and everything in life.
We are all different, people, cultures, countries, customs, some help others and some blow others up, and both feel correct and justified in their actions. The list of cultural differences is endless. A westerner says they should live for themselves, Asians live for their parents regardless of what they want to do. Both see each other as crazy, but objectively, who is right?
Sometimes people know that they just did not think before they spoke or just stood there and watched something bad happen without taking action even though they saw the problem brewing. They are very confused about their own actions. Why did I say that? Why did I do that? Or, why didn’t I say or do that when I knew I should?
When something confusing happens that cannot be explained, we can either ignore it and move on, or we can let it roll around in our mind until it builds up enough force to become a devastating typhoon.
Anger can be expressed towards others, and it can be expressed towards yourself in many ways that are self-destructive and destroy your self-confidence and self-esteem.
If I do not like having indigestion and I know that the cause is eating raw onions, I can avoid eating onions, and I will not have the problem. No confusion, no anger. I understand the cause and the pain is avoided.
When we know the cause of a problem, there is no confusion and we will not get angry. You must use your own examples of this principle to realize the truth behind it. Please do this because if you do not realize it’s truth through your own experiences, this information will equate you to being the donkey carrying a load of books, all the knowledge is on its back but not in its mind, and so you will stay just a donkey.
You are never angry, you are confused. You stay confused because you cannot understand why anyone would be different than you. If you accepted that we are NOT all equal, and that there are many different ‘species’ of humans, some smarter than others, some evil and some good, and that is just the nature of that individual being, you would not be confused.
It would also be of great value in many ways to the betterment of your life if when you are confused or angry, you would first accept that there is always a good reason, but you just do not know what it is. However, people tend to repeat the words; “I don’t understand’ when in fact they are really saying; ‘My way is right and you are wrong, end of story.’
Accepting this obvious and objective truth, to whatever degree, even for common sense when you am stumped with how anyone could be that stupid; intelligence, motivation, self-respect, independent thinking or being a sheep mentality, all these things, in fact every single minor or major difference between you and anyone else, is based on the simple fact that we are not all equal, you will find far less confusion in acceptance.
Does the bird wonder why the fish does not live in the trees? Do you wonder why dogs do not mate with cats? Believing lies create confusion because there is a part of you that knows the truth and yet tries to deny it, and that creates confusion, the seed and fuel for frustration which quickly turns into anger.
The statement that we are all equal is the foundation lie that creates all the confusion which breeds infinite anger. Accepting that we are not all the same species and that some have different values and ways of thinking than you do may not make you accept them, but it will help reduce your anger so that you can think more clearly towards finding a resolution to any problem, and maybe learn a few new things you did not know before.
We can never be angry when we understand.