As long as there is more than one thing involved in any situation, and there always is, they have a point at which they meet. This meeting point is often overlooked or simply not recognized that it exists, and so problems are difficult to solve and conflicts grow because the true cause is not known.
By finding the meeting point, you will find the precise moment of the beginning of every situation or creation of any thing, and so you will also find the instant that any problem was created. With that precise knowledge, you stand a very high probability of solving any problem or guiding any situation to a harmonious outcome and future.
The example that spurred this article was a discussion about the hot water in the shower. Someone was asking me about the sensitivity of the shower in getting the water to be warm. He said that it is either too hot or too cold, and very difficult to get a comfortable temperature. His opinion was that it was the hot water heater which caused the problem.
That is only the source of one half of the situation. Warm is comprised of a mixture of hot and cold. To look at the source of only one side will not answer why balance cannot occur. To look at the source of both will likewise not provide a solution. We must look at the meeting point, the tap, where the hot and cold meet. That is where they mix to become warm, and so that is the meeting point which must be corrected.
All things have a meeting point. We expanded our discussion to various examples, one being his new girlfriend. With a fast growing business, he is torn between time with work and time for his relationship. Desiring for both to succeed but not knowing how to balance them, we found the answer in the meeting point. His time of course is the item being divided, using the shower as the metaphor, hot and cold are the woman and the business. The tap is the meeting point which is him, how the girl and the business are connected, and the resulting warm is the balance of time based on how the tap functions and is adjusted.
The temperature gauge in this case is money. If he has no money, how can he provide for the fun things one enjoys, or even the basics of food and shelter. Time must be spent on making money or life simply does not move forward and it is not realistic for a relationship to survive if the partners are starving and living on the street.
On the other hand, how much money do you need. In his case, his desire was for a rather large amount. That was perfectly appropriate when he did not have anything else to do with his time, all could be devoted to making money, but that has changed (for the better we both agreed).
Knowing what the two have in common, the meeting point, his time which equals money in business terms, and fun with a good quality of life in a relationship, (which also requires money) he was able to adjust his understanding of his goal, reduce the desire for money and take time away from his business to spend with his new love. He still devotes enough time to business to bring in plenty of money, but not being excessive in either direction. By reducing the cold (less time in business), that naturally increased the hot (more time with the girlfriend), and he reached a perfect warm.
In this case, we can say that by understanding the meeting point, what was driving him excessively on the business side versus his natural desire for a companion, he was able to resolve the inner conflict, adjust his goals, and find a perfect balance between the two.
Here are some questions to explain the principle. Think about each one and come up with your answer before proceeding. Do not cheat, but find your answer to each one and read the rest of this article before finding the answers at the end.
What is the most important part of a well driving car?
What is the most important part of the equipment in badminton or tennis?
What makes a table useful and good?
What is the most important part of a refrigerator?
In a conflict situation, the meeting point is a persons fear of control, or lesser ego tired of giving all the time and just being pushed too far one day, perhaps fear of loss of money or a job or relationship which could stem from fear of being alone and lonely.
In the case of a mechanical device, the meeting point of a normal door to the house is the hinge. If the hinge is not functioning properly, the door will fall off. That will result in damaging the door and leaving the house wide open. How often do you think of checking and maintaining the hinges, and the timber they are attached to, before the door falls off? The strongest lock is only as strong as the door frame it connects to.
These are just examples which are meant to spur your mind into an exploration to find the meeting point of all things. This universe is one of duality, nothing exists without its opposite. The opposites always have a meeting point. In some cases there is more than one meeting point.
Dirty cloths versus clean cloths. Certainly that is a process of washing, but there is a distinct difference between dirty and clean, hence, there must be a meeting point which transforms one to the other. The meeting points in washing are the water, the soap and the washing machine. If your cloths do not come out clean you would need to look at the water, if that is clean, if the soap is strong enough, and if the machine is functioning properly.
This causes you to look at other meeting points, what could be causing the machine to malfunction, the water to be dirty, and the soap to be inadequate. It is complicated at times, and other times quite simple, but such is life on a complex planet. Once you understand the principle, you will find it becomes much easier to make this exploration in your mind for all situations.
Why has the situation come to be, that is the meeting point. In an office, the meeting point of virtually all encounters is money, as that is why anyone would go to work. In a relationship, it is companionship, or just sex. Knowing which is the cause, you should be able to find out what is really behind any disagreement, and then you can speak directly to the meeting point of what brought you together. This is often difficult to find simply because of self-lying. You may think and believe that you know what caused you to make a decision, but that may be far from the truth.
This tells us that the meeting point for many problems is found within yourself, when you have seen the truth of a situation and decided at that moment to hide it, or lie to yourself and brush it aside, or forget it. The meeting point of a problem in this case, the moment it began, was when you saw the reality and decided to ignore it. That began a problem that may manifest itself later. Looking for the moment of manifestation is not the meeting point at which the situation took its wrong turn. Because this takes a developed objective view of all things, it is very rare and the reason why so many people faced with a problem say, “I can’t understand where it went wrong.” Look towards yourself for the cause and cure. This is what spiritual development is all about.
And now the answers to the earlier questions.
What is the most important part of a well driving car? The tires. The purpose of a car is to drive along the road. The meeting point of car to road is the tires. I had a Mercedes and needed new tires for my wonderful car. I did not understand and bought cheap tires. The car drove like a piece of junk. I bought new tires and it returned to a wonderful car to drive. I later made the same mistake with my motorcycle. I drove 500 meters on the new tire and returned to buy a better tire because I could not hold the bike stable, it wobbled and was very unpleasant to ride.
What is the most important part of the equipment in badminton or tennis? The shoes.
The player meets the ground and needs to run to catch the ball or shuttle. If you cannot move quickly you cannot win. If your feet hurt or you may trip and fall or slide along the court, then you will not be able to play. There is no point in having a good racquet if you cannot reach the ball in time.
What makes a table useful and good? The legs. They make the table stand firm and stable.
What is the most important part of a refrigerator? Electricity. Something that is not even part of the device, yet without it, it will not create a cold environment in a hot room, even if it is in perfect condition. This is a vital point of this concept. The meeting point may be something external to the situation.
When you learn to find the meeting point, you will be able to solve all problems.