Self-lying is our greatest hindrance to success. The truth cannot be found when you are living in a lie.
Self-lying is just that, lying to yourself. We all do it, daily in fact. We may call it by other names, justify it, ignore it, or give in and believe it without even knowing what we are doing. Self-lying destroys many of our abilities and potential and prevents us from improving ourselves by making us think we are fine as we are, or not capable of achieving what we desire.
If you have a goal, and you believe that is the most important thing in your life and everything you are living for, then why are you not devoting every bit of energy, time and sacrifice to achieving it. Are you taking some precious time to watch movies, read magazines, play games, or do other fun things that in no way serve the purpose of achieving your goal? Then tell the truth, what is really the most important thing in your life.
Test yourself right now. Do you lie to yourself? If the answer is no, then you are lying. If the answer is yes, then you are perhaps lying as well. Self-lying is to make yourself believe something without really believing it. Now put yourself to the real test. What would you do to achieve your greatest desire to be the best and goal? Anything is the common answer. OK, if the challenge was to fast for 30 days, or perhaps live as a beggar in India for six months, having no money, place to sleep, food to eat, nothing more than the cloths on your back, not even a toothbrush, would you do it?
So is ‘anything’ the truth? As you see, we often say things, and even believe them, but they are lies. We may call them exaggerations, but that is another lie. To believe something that is simply not true is a lie.
Integrity, reliability, sincerity and honesty are just some of the qualities that deteriorate with self-lying. Humans are a funny species, we have abilities yet we do not develop them, or we use them only by chance and very weakly, when we can have them in full force. Intuition is the most common of these abilities.
Once in a while, we sense that something is not right. We have the ability to know every time, but we do not use it. There are times when you are confused, you know that something is not right with what someone is telling you, but at the same time you feel that they are telling the truth. So you are confused as to whether they can be trusted or not because you have mixed feelings.
Both your feelings are correct, they are telling the truth, but it is a lie. They, and we, can convince ourselves of something and really believe it. For instance, if you meet someone you don’t really like, you may say that we should have lunch some time. You may really believe it at the time you are saying it, but in reality that is a lie because you have no desire to ever share a meal with this person.
And so you have told the truth which was a lie, and the other person could sense that there was something wrong. If you are confronted with the accusation that you are not being honest, you will defend your sincerity to the death because you have believed the lie. However the intuition of the other person knows that something is wrong and you have tricked yourself, but not them.
Take some time now and think about these examples and how they apply to you. Think of the many times you lie to yourself and then justify it or distract yourself so that you do not think about it any more. Imagine how that has effected your life. Just recall any time that you really wanted something and the other person would not trust you. Then you grumbled away or gave yourself a good dose of self-pity as to why you are not trusted when you are so honest. Think back to the teenage dating years, how many of these little lies have we convinced ourselves of only to find out very soon that we did not mean it at all.
Now think of someone you know who everyone trusts, who you can confide in and know that what that person says is going to be done. That is a person who does not lie to themselves. It is so easy to be right every time. There is no great genius required to never be wrong, or at least so rarely that it appears to be never. Simply never say anything unless you are 100% certain that it is correct and that you will follow up what you say. If you have doubt, then do not say anything, and you can never be wrong.
“When you tell the truth, you never have to remember what you said.”
The truth is the truth, it does not change, so you will always tell the story the same way. That makes you reliable, precise and consistent. The reliable person has all doors opened, and has the devotion of many to help in their goals.
That consistency along with reliability builds up a reputation which is truly exceptional in our world today and obviously that will aid your success in every aspect of your life.
Because a person who is not plagued with self-lying is so rare, we live our lives in constant fear and hesitation because we know there is no one we can trust, including ourselves. Yet it is the nature of the human being to want to relax and feel safe. The child climbs in the parents lap and knows that nothing can happen to them there. We long for that comfort and security again. That is what makes us want to own our own home with no mortgage, have lots of money so we can pay for whatever we need and never do without.
With billions of people looking for that type of person, and that being so rare, if you could cultivate the quality of not self-lying within yourself, you can imagine how many people would be flocking to be with you. If that meant help you or work for you devotedly, whatever it may be, your success would be guaranteed.
That is a part of the catalyst, the quality of integrity that is sincere and free from self-lying as it attracts the unlimited workforce and support of all humanity. Couple that with the support of the power of a clear, focused mind and intense emotion, the universe has no power to deny your goals.
We must eliminate self-lying and become completely honest with ourselves. A liar can always be caught out if the right questions are asked. People get away with lying because no one asks the right questions. That is how we get away with lying to others or lying to ourselves. We do not ask the questions to bring out the truth.
It is very difficult to see your own self lying. You have been lying to yourself for so long and have become so good at it that you cannot notice the lies any longer. In order to conquer this very subtle and refined skill of trickery, we need to take an outside objective view of testing what we believe to verify if it is true. If you believe something, then analyse the belief by questioning its validity, and picking up any flaws and contradictions, test it to be true.
Explore all your beliefs and test them logically. Be brutal with yourself, because self-lying keeps itself in power by convincing you that it was just a normal or slight exaggeration. With that attitude, you will never be rid of it. Calling a lie exaggeration is a lie to hide a lie.
A drastic example is if you believe you can fly, just with your body, and you have convinced yourself that you can fly, and you do not find that you are actually self-lying, when you jump off a high building and cannot fly, your life will end in that moment.
If we lie to ourselves in any part of the process of achieving our goals, we will not succeed and our life will end, whenever that may be, without having succeeded. Even if that goal is to have a simple happiness, that happiness will be disturbed by something if there is any part of self lying in your life.
Whether you jump off the cliff and die today, or if you die at 95, the question is not how long you have lived, but have you satisfied your beliefs and goals, have you accomplished what you have set out to accomplish, have you succeeded in being a complete human being. That, regardless of how old you are when you die, is what really matters. Living with self lying, you will not achieve your goals, but breaking through that and accepting the truth and reality of what you are, offers the potential to correct what you think you believe, and become accurate. When it is accurate, you will achieve your goals, whatever they may be. It is better to achieve your goals, using a monetary example, to earn $1 million and succeed rather than thinking you can earn $500 million, but never even getting $100,000.
The power of thought to think yourself into a possession or situation is definitely a reality. We can actually think ourselves into amazing achievements, but we cannot do that if there is self lying in our mind. For example, if you grit your teeth in anger, and you are really steaming about something, but as you grit your teeth you say to yourself, ‘I’m happy, I am not angry” you are just lying to yourself because you are angry. If you say you are not angry while you burn in anger, you will never get over your anger, and then it becomes a habit to say to yourself that you are never angry even though you are. That is self lying and if we do that long enough, we believe the lie so strongly that counteracting it becomes near impossible because the power of thought has convinced you of it. On the other hand, if you are angry, notice, acknowledge and feel that anger, then say that you see that you are angry, and also that you refuse to be angry, you may truly never get angry. When you are angry, it is a truth that you do not want to be angry, but not the truth that you are not angry.
This is the way that we can live in truth and change anything. Acknowledge what is, because reality is reality no matter what you want to believe. A condition is the condition at that moment, but not necessarily in the next moment, it is the next moment that we are trying to change. Then you will be living in the truth without denying reality and you can succeed with the power of thought in all its potential.