What Do You Do When You Feel You Have No More Left To Give

I have often heard people say that they have no more to give, that they have given so much and have nothing left.

I do not understand how this is possible. I wonder what it is that they have none left of. If I understood the conversation correctly, considering they are talking about a relationship or their children, it seems they are referring to love. But I must be wrong, because how can anyone run out of love. Love is something that is everlasting, unlimited, literally the life force that keeps us and the universe alive, that is if you believe any of the religions or spiritual teachings.

So then, it must not be love that they are talking about. It could be their understanding of love that is confused with what they are actually feeling is depleted in themselves.

So then what is this that there is no more of? Energy, the will to live, the strength to continue with the normal day to day events of life that drain us all. However, if you still have the strength to get out of bed, even if you do not feel like it, then you must have something left.

The problem is that when you feel so low, you do not see the way out of your situation, or your life in general, and get even more depressed. This is the beginning of the end. The problem with this situation is that you really do have a lot of energy left when you think that it is all gone. That means that you will still live for many years feeling as if there is no hope and that you do not have any more to give. This goes on until you finally die by either a disease or the natural process of decay. Either way, life becomes an existence where you do nothing more than pass time until you die. Of course there are the times when your need for companionship and the truth that you do have plenty left to give, overcome you and you enter into another event. The problem with this reason for action is that it usually comes out of desperation and is not well thought out. What happens is that you get into a situation that is not truly in your best interest. And of course that new situation will drain you and make you return to the feeling of not having anything left to give.

Think about this, God is perfect, there is nothing lacking for God. So why create all this that we see and live in, and especially why create us? So God has someone to give to.

So what seems to be actually happening is that we do not pursue our natural desires because since we are disappointed so often we become to busy with the daily life of work and activities to have the time and energy to live. That means that life is more draining than replenishing. This leads us to feel that we have no more energy to continue. That depletion to the apparent point of empty is all relative. The only reason something feels like it is gone is because of the relationship to what it felt like when we had an abundant supply. So when the supply runs down, there may be plenty left, but comparatively it seems almost all gone.

This reminds me of news report that a major corporation lost $100 million one year. But they did not lose anything. What happened was that they made $100 million less than they did the previous year. They still made hundreds of millions in profit.

Active Laziness

The supply is self replenishing. That means that we need not do anything for it to return to an abundant supply. Actually that is not entirely accurate, and there lies the solution to the problem.

There is not something to do, but rather something to stop doing. Active laziness is where you keep so busy with things you do not have time to look at yourself. I have noticed that every one of the people who have nothing left to give and no time to do what they would really like to do are so busy that they do not have a moment to do anything. It may even take weeks for them to find a moment to allow themselves to do something new or different from their busy hectic life, if they will ever make the time.

As a business consultant I often meet people facing bankruptcy who claim they are too busy to do anything that could correct the problem. This is a common disease that you should not assume you are free from. There are many viruses that we carry that never really make us ill, but still have an effect on our life. It is just so subtle that we do not notice it.

If you are not 100% successful at what you are doing, if there is anything that indicates that you get close but never really catch up, always a bit behind the bills so you never quite have enough for what you really want to do. Then consider that you may have this disease of the mind. You may be more interested in a self fulfilling prophecy that you are not good enough or do not deserve success or a host of other possible mental blocks that will do everything they can to make sure that you do not succeed. Viruses are living organisms. They are not trying to kill you, they are just trying to live and survive. They do not even know or realize that their life depends on your death, but you have to choose who is going to win.

The tricky part about this is that in order for the ego to prevent you from seeing the problem and doing something to fix it, you will do many things and get very far, close to success, but then something will happen, and you will give up or fail. This is how our energy drains away from us. You can justify that you are doing your best but it is the world that keeps knocking you down so you never complete the project. Then you lose motivation because you feel you waste so much time on nothing.

Live or Die, Is that a Question?

If you think that you want to live and do not really want to die, then why are you doing so many things to drain your life force. Physical exercise and good eating alone cannot keep you alive. It is only the source of life energy that can do this, and that is renewed through the mind and the heart.

Projects of the world, things done that are of material orientation, these things are of the world and can only give worldly energy, which is limited. But projects of the heart and soul give the spiritual energy that opens the door to the truth of reality. As in anything, if you want to start a new project, you must give up some time for the things you are doing now so you have time for the new one. Examine all the things you are doing and see what is really productive and what is not. Then give up as much as possible and do not be afraid to have time on your hands that you have nothing to do.

You can have the time if you want to make it. Like anything, if you really want it you can make it. Think about this, you do not have the ability to make space in your life to sit quietly for an hour a day, but you are of the same species that wanted to walk on the moon and within 60 years from learning to fly, built a machine that took men to the moon. Now if we meager humans could do that, then I am sure that you could find an hour a day.

A big symptom of the disease of the mind is that you cannot see the obvious, the relative between your tiny little world that seems so big and harsh, compared to what humanity has gone through, what people have endured by the hand of Hitler or the Japanese in the first world war. And you think you really have it so bad. Take a trip to India, Africa, see what humans can endure before you think your life is so bad. If you could do that, you may start to see life in a different way and then realize that nothing you are enduring is as bad or hopeless as you think. Once you see that and take a more positive outlook, your energy will begin to replenish rather than feel like it is all gone. Once you have opened the door to replenishment, then you will see life differently and make some changes.

What are you willing to do? Anything? How about nothing. Take the time so that you have nothing but time to sit in a café and then you may see some things that where in front of you all along.

Natural human needs are to love and to serve. In the modern world, we are taught to do that but also we are given the conflicting concept that we must make our own life and have boundaries. So nature says to love and share, and society says to be selfish and give to yourself first.

Conflicts are the biggest drain of energy. The store of energy starts depleting from a very young age, but the abundance of energy versus the drain is still stronger. So we do not notice the loss being greater than the supply. This shows up anywhere from 20 to 40 years old, depending on the person and life circumstances.

Only by giving can you replenish your supply. This is the key and the hard part to understand. Only by giving can you get more energy for yourself. The trick is who to and how do you give. You must use discrimination to determine if the person you are giving to is a healthy person. Too often people give to an energy leech.

The Mystics View of the Logical Mind

A Sufi Sheik said to me once, God gave you a logical mind, God does nothing without good reason. Use your logical mind and think before you act. But let your heart have a say too. Balance is the key. Do not shut one trait down to serve another.

Back to active laziness. People do not like to see themselves, so there is always some background noise, music, TV, activities. Something is always there to keep you so busy you do not see your self. This is the reason for of active laziness. We get so active with all sorts of projects that are so important, sports, activities, etc. One person I know hated her husband so much, but could not bring herself to divorce, she found a way out by joining every possible volunteer service she could find so she would go straight from work and never get home before it was so late that all she could do was go to sleep.

Of course, she put her efforts into a useful cause, however the motivation was wrong and the end result was a severe illness. You cannot fool the truth forever. Find the time to stop what you are doing. Stop some projects you have and devote more time to sitting quietly in a cafe and just observing yourself. Take time to do nothing so that you will have time to do the things in life that are valuable to you. You may not even know what they may be right now, but that is because you don’t have time to find them, or them to find you.

There is a Tibetan saying: “Dog doesn’t like stick, human doesn’t like truth.” Sticks are not for playing in Tibet by the way.

You do not need to accomplish a very long list of achievements. You need only be healthy and happy. So if you think you have no more left to give, no more strength to continue, then just give up as many of the things that occupy your life and see how you feel. Then when new things appear, give them a try. No one said that when you start something you have to make that a permanent part of your life if you do not want to.

As a restaurant owner said to passers by; “Don’t be shy, give it a try.”

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One Response to What Do You Do When You Feel You Have No More Left To Give

  1. me November 23, 2013 at 8:41 am #

    Thank you.

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