This article is a gamble. When you read it, maybe you will identify with what is written, or think I am a fool. I have written this for a purpose and I am willing to take that risk. All I ask is that if the subject interests you, then please read the whole article so you hear the full thoughts and not just one side of an example.
There must be more to life than just the normal human activities, but what is it and how can we find it amidst all the empty fluffy stuff from people claiming to be teachers who think they have achieved or found something but have just found a path of avoiding effort. Many good teachings have been filtered and watered down into just the right formula for people who cannot digest tougher material.
I believe that there is a tremendous effort involved in becoming all we can be. When you take a vibrant food and make a light version, it loses the calories and the flavor as well, unless you add artificial sweetener.
Many people say they are lost in a way, not lost as much as stuck in limbo, what to do, where to go. There is so much out there, any web search will find thousands of sites on any topic in the world, yet for some people, it all seems so mundane or childish, lacking substance.
Are you driven, propelled, but despite the powerful engine that is revving, have yet to find which direction to move towards, where to go, what school to attend, which people to associate with?
How do we find quality among all the empty people who think they have achieved a high spiritual state or profess that the method to enlightenment has changed and all you have to do is be present and that there is nothing more to do than that. It is impossible to compete with the fast food method of enlightenment by offering years of slow hard work in comparison to omitting the truth and just presenting the happy ending.
Many people are misled by half teachings such as; ‘Compassion is simply to put others before yourself and to make them happy.’ All that does is build up frustration as you still have your desires and always putting yourself behind another person’s desires, feelings or pleasures, eventually builds up and frustrates you to the point of eventually exploding; “Enough giving already! What about me!”
Simply containing your feelings is not the path to freedom. Rather, we need to find and refine that which is feeling, and that takes tremendous time and effort along with experience and wisdom. If we meet with continual disappointment, eventually we will naturally lose hope of finding any place, people or school of quality.
This is what too many people experience and clearly will not bring you to enlightenment. Yet many people still eat at McDonald’s even though they know it is not the best thing for their health. Convenience wins over quality.
The problem Is that the effort is so great if you are alone in your work, it is very difficult to keep up the effort and commitment to your practices. Trying to achieve this with people who are following a fluffy path created by someone who made up some form of ‘new form of Zen of Sufism combined with …’ is even more difficult.
The inner desire to continue moving forward is always there and becomes even more frustrated as the options run out. Searching the web brings up more new sites and people every day, but the trend is in the direction of weakness and flashy marketing. I don’t blame people for starting up their own groups, but the quality is not there for the person who wants quality. We may not be able to find an enlightened teacher, but at least serious companions are a good substitute, if we can find them.
Charlatans throughout history have taken one line from a master who put in lifetimes of effort and twisted it to make a trap for fools. Yes, Buddha said that we are effectively already enlightened, other teachers say that we are a spark of Divine Light, we are in essence God, but the truth is that those who have realized this have put in great efforts to achieve that realization.
I have heard that the current thought is that the rules of spiritual growth have been changed by God. This can only be followed by a fool who would accept that after tens of thousands of years, God has decided that the rules should be changed. Did He finally figure out He made a mistake, or that humans are too stupid to achieve the high standards He set and He needs to lower the bar? Or have we devolved so drastically that the old standards and methods are simply too far out of our reach?
It simply makes no sense. In order to make the obviously ridiculous acceptable, they add to their foolish concepts that humanity is at its highest spiritual level than it has ever been and no longer needs to put in the effort to grow spiritually and become enlightened. And the cherry on top is that they tell us there are people becoming spontaneously enlightened all over the world without putting in any effort or practice whatsoever, and you can too!
There is a good Sufi story related to this; that the devil will try to trick sincere seekers by appearing to them as an angel bringing a message from God that they are so evolved that they no longer need to meditate or pray and all the rules of conduct no longer apply to them.
All of this is a clear play on the ego to allow people who suffer from low self esteem and laziness to feel good about their weakness and follow the Pied Piper to the slaughter house.
I personally get very disgusted with the blatant foolishness of the current trend of so called spiritual teachers and seekers that I am ashamed to have a web site or have my thoughts published, but what option do I have to find people who think like me.
The big problem that so many people have is finding good friends and companions who think like they do. Finding people of a like mind is a real challenge despite, or perhaps because of, the vast amount of material on the internet. There is so much junk, that I for one get bored and turn off the computer before I find something worthwhile.
So many people come to me with the problem of not having found their purpose in life, the thing they enjoy and feel fulfilled by. My view is that they cannot find it because they missed the point. It is not what you do but rather who you do it with. If you think about it, when you are with someone you love, it does not matter what you are doing, you enjoy it. However even if you love to do something, eventually it may not be as much fun if you are always doing it alone.
In the effort of finding our purpose, place or fulfilling life, what we really need to find is the right person or people to do it with. This is not to say that we can be happy doing anything, no I am not saying that. I do believe that we each have certain talents and abilities and that there are some things that we will be best suited for and thus more interested in, but the point is the people in your life make the difference.
In my life, I have done so many things but what I am most interested in is becoming more than I am. I believe that humans have a much greater potential than just the basics of human life. Even with all its great potential, there is more that is hidden just behind a thin veil of consciousness.
Dealing with people can get very frustrating. They are so sensitive, it makes it impossible to relax and just have a good sense of humor or say what you feel. At times it is far easier to just stay alone rather than be with people who you must contain and filter every thought, which is the common situation in most work and even social situations. How many people in a relationship can say anything they want without fear of how the other person will react. If you cannot be free to speak your thoughts then you will always be holding your breath. That is no place to free your soul.
Revolt against political correctness. It is destroying our souls by making it impossible to breath freely. But first you must show your immunity to simple words by becoming emotionally independent and also removing that part of you which enjoys hurting people or is so selfish that no consideration to feelings is given. There is a big difference between political correctness and true compassion and consideration.
Personally I use logic to find the mystical. As one old Sufi told me, “If God gave you a logical mind, it must be for a reason, so use it.” By the simple application of common sense, we can cut through a lot of the rubbish and being misled down a path that is more of a pacification of the desire which eventually brings a feeling of loss and emptiness for having wasted time than the satisfaction of progress.
When I look for new things to do or places to go, I find a certain emptiness in them. That is typical of depression, and so I have examined myself but found that at the same time, I have a deep sense of peace and satisfaction. There is a difference between depression and sadness. I believe sadness is effectively loneliness. The difference between depression and sadness is how quickly the mood can change. Give a depressed person just about anything and they stay depressed. Give a sad or lonely person a good companion, or even a smile from the opposite sex, and happiness instantly takes over.
Sadness is not a problem, it is a momentary condition and needs nothing other than a good companion. Too many people think they are depressed and seek the wrong kind of help which makes them focus on their feelings as if something is wrong with them. Nothing is wrong with feeling sad if you are lonely, just put in all effort to finding the right friends. If this thought catches on, sell your shares in the drug companies.
This is another thing that I believe many people face. Having achieved many things in life; money, business, travel, learning new skills or other things of interest, life is just too easy. There is more to it all and material things are just not that overwhelmingly attractive or totally satisfying. At the same time, everything is great fun and exciting if you do it with the right person.
The buddha said that 100% of your spiritual growth is dependent on your community, there are sayings like this in many teachings, all clearly stating the obvious, humans are social creatures and we need the companionship of people who think like us to succeed in our goals, which feeds the inner drive that keeps us from giving up and just committing suicide.
Napoleon Hill explained it in his book; ‘Think and Grow Rich’ with the principle of the mastermind group. People in business know the importance of having a good business partner. Those who have succeeded but still want to do some business often say that they are too old to do it on their own. It is not a matter of age, rather they have achieved enough that they realize the real fun is doing something with people you enjoy so your mind is active and your spirit fed.
This article is my attempt to find people who feel as I do. Even if you have no interest in me, I encourage you to put in all efforts to find people who think like you do. Do not be shy, put in the effort, put out your sincere thoughts, openly and honestly, and strive to find those people of quality.
I have told you how I feel and if this resonates with you, then please feel free to contact me. As the seller in the market called out; “Don’t be shy, give it a try.” And the secret to being a successful entrepreneur; if you can’t find it or buy it, then make it yourself.
There are too many wonderful people wasting away who are scared, shy or inhibited from taking chances, speaking out or grabbing the opportunities that life offers, and that is a terrible waste of a precious life.
Join the discussion
David,
When we do find someone whom we think is on the same path and ‘understands’ we brighten up. Often through that relationship we discover even more truths, and maybe even move on to more discoveries.
Current events around the US getting close to defaulting on its financial obligations highlights what does not work. The pursuit of material [superficial] wealth especially through living beyond one’s means demonstrates the plight of many – seeking solace and happiness from ‘stuff’
Another nice article…
Quite beautiful. But how do we find these people. I am not saying that the people around me are not beautiful in mind or that I don’t enjoy time with my family but what if my interests don’t resonate with most people? Where do I find people like me who are searching for something more than normalcy.
Indeed, this is the big problem. How to find such people is very difficult. I have travelled a lot and there are some pockets of those people, but I think that it takes making the effort, as I am doing with my writing and teaching, to get me out there for people who may think the same to make contact and build up these friends in this way.
So I suggest you put yourself out there in your interests, start a group, or whatever you can do, that will let people know who you are, where you are, and that you would like to meet them.
Best wishes, and keep me posted.
And of course, write to me, tell me where you are, and maybe we can meet and you can join our little group.
Dear David,
You said you look for people who feel like you. I’m on the same quest. As I’ve been in the university environment long time I was exposed to many people from many countries. All of them with good education and life prospect. Nevertheless, I found that establishing a friendship is a challenge if quality and some depth is in demand. So many relations are superficial, mostly for mutual fun and verbal support. Active, conscious self-realization seems to be beyond interest of most. “Be good and you will be lonesome” according to Mark Twain. As time goes I am discovering what was known to Albert Einstein “Solitude is painful when one is young, but delightful when one is more mature”. I don’t think that is all we can get so I am on lookout…
Robert