I strive to live a life in which I serve a purpose that is uniquely practical and beneficial to anyone who wants to improve the quality of their life.
Give me one hour, and I will show you how to eliminate 90% of anger and conflicts.
Give me six months and I will help you integrate that knowledge and transform your life.
Imagine how life could be if you did not; get angry or have conflicts, lose your temper, feel attacked and, never took anything personally or were emotionally manipulated ever again.
Your business and relationship success is infinite.
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Our most recent article…
- The Reflex Organ, How It Controls You and How To Overcome It
The book and course, Anatomy Of The Mind, explains how every emotion and mental faculty is an organ of the body of your mind. Fear, love, anger, habits, opinions, etc., are all organs of the mind.
As we get older with the passing of time, these organs atrophy and our patterns become more fixed and harder to change. That leads to a very limited life, and as in the case of an atrophying liver, eventually leads to death. It could be the death of joy and adventure in your life long before the death of your body.
This article will focus on the Reflex Organ. By working on any of our automatic reflexes, we can soften up and remove many fixed habits and patterns which limit our life, and so, we can say that this is possibly the most important organ or at least the one deserving of primary attention, to work on in the process of changing your life.
The reflex organ controls all reflexes. Reflexes could be to a tap on the knee, a verbal comment, a physical thing, or what you take as an apparent attack. Anything that reaches your mind or body that you have an instantaneous and uncontrolled reaction to, is a reflex, and that prepared reaction is stored in the reflex organ.
To change any aspect of our life, we must first overcome the reflexive action to it. As you overcome some reflexive actions, that will help you overcome other reflexive reactions by effectively softening the now atrophied reflex organ.
Simply put, you must work on not reacting automatically to anything as much as possible. Hold yourself back, even if you end up getting touched, you should not react automatically in any way to anything, within reason of course. That is the goal and process.
I just have to mention one thing that could save your life. If you are driving along the road and an animal runs in front of the car, you would instinctively swerve to try and avoid hitting it. However in Colorado, where there are many narrow roads which run on the edge of cliffs with no shoulder at all, that swerve to avoid hitting the animal can make you turn the car and drive off a cliff that lands you 1,000 feet below, as has happened to some now deceased people.
My point is, you may think that some reflexive reactions are good, but they may in fact lead to your death. Think objectively and wisely before you decide that there are some reactions which are good. Yes some are, but as you see, you may be wrong.
Everything that you react automatically to, physical, mental, verbal etc, you must hold yourself steady and still without reacting. Of course as you begin, you will only notice your reaction after it happens. Every time you have a reflexive reaction, you should immediately write down what it was that triggered it.
Keep that list like a shopping list. It’s your list of things to face and be prepared to not react.
This is an exercise you can work on with anything you have an automatic reaction to. Put yourself in the position to face it repeatedly until you overcome the automatic functions.
I will tell you two personal examples. When I played badminton, if i was near the net and my opponent raised his racket to smash the return, I would cower and cover my head. An automatic and totally inappropriate instinctive reaction because of past experiences of getting hit, even though it was not a badminton racket in the past. I kept playing, and after years of cowering, I finally altered the automatic reaction so I could stand there and not cower. By deliberately facing the trigger until I retrained the reflex organ to respond differently and return the shot, I became a much better player, and stopped perplexing my opponents.
My dog is the other example, since we are no better than dogs or animals in many ways. After all, we are still just an animal, even if a human. I got her when she was two years old. When I picked up my shoe or a newspaper, she would start crying and run to a corner, cowering. Apparently her previous owners beat her a lot. It took over a year of picking up papers and shoes in front of her, and touching her gently with them, to get her to learn that I would not hurt her, and finally, she broke the reflexive pattern and never cowered again.
List every single major and minor physical and mental reflexive reaction you have, which is an instantaneous response to an event which happens before you know the whole situation or is totally uncalled for.
Make your ‘shopping list’ of these events and then deliberately, and as often as possible, put yourself in the situation to face them. Do it repeatedly if it is a reaction to someone flicking your nose or something like that. It could be a fear of flying, or fear of heights as I had. just the thought of being on a tall building and going near the edge on the roof would make me scared. Interestingly, when I learnt to fly a very very small airplane, my fear of heights vanished.
As the example shows, a reflexive reaction can be a minor fleeting fear at the thought of a roller coaster or horseback riding.
Keep facing your event, I will not call it a fear because you may not know you are scared of something that you can have a reflexive reaction to, which means you may not know what to look for, until you no longer have any reaction at all. As you do this for everything that you react to, you will find your self-confidence drastically improve in many ways, not just in the reflexive situation. You will transform your character more than you can ever imagine because your automatic reflexive actions show your subconscious beliefs and fixed patterns which limit your experience of life.
It will also change how other people see you and interact with you, because it is much more fun to be with someone who does not over-react to benign events.