A Cause Of Problems

If you find you have perpetual chain of problems in your life, it may be because you need to have problems, not just because you have bad luck.

Self Pity is probably the most common negative emotion that everyone has. Everyone has it to some degree, even if you do not notice it.

Every time you say; ‘poor me’ or ‘I wish I did that, or didn’t do that’ ‘nothing good will ever happen to me, I have such bad luck’ that is all self-pity.

And it makes sense, because so few people grew up feeling in total control of their life, having everything they wanted. that is not possible because every child has to be told when to go to bed, when to eat, when to go to toilet, go to school, etc.

We all grow up, with very few rare exceptions, feeling that we are not respected or getting attention. How many times do children talk and are ignored or treated like they are worthless or stupid. Quite honestly, children are stupid, what do they know about life and the world? Sure, they can come out with some smart moments, but in respect to how we define intelligent, kids are pretty dumb through no fault of their own, just lack of knowledge.

We all grow up with this feeling of inadequacy mainly because we do not understand that we do not understand. And so self pity is a way of getting attention because another thing we learnt is that when we are sick or have problems, that is when we get love and hugs and attention.

We grow up with this love of self-pity because in the formative years we learn that this is the way to get the things we wanted as children that we did not get, feeling wanted, loved and attention that makes us feel respected.

Self pity is very common and we subconsciously love it and do not want to get rid of it but we must because self pity requires problems. In other words, if everything was perfect in your life, there would be no way to justify any self pity and call for help.

This love of self pity requires us to fail and have problems, disasters, anything that we can whine and cry about and complain. What a mess. And it is all subconscious.

Pay attention to every moment that you are thinking, feeling or expressing in the slightest way, ‘poor me’. Immediately stop it and replace it with a more positive and different thought. You must be very vigilant and diligent in this practice so that nothing gets past you and you catch it as often as possible. This is the only way to eliminate or at least reduce self pity.

As you do, you will not have as big a requirement of problems, disasters and failures in your life.  Of course as we remove negatives, we automatically increase positives by virtue of maintaining the balance of all things equal. As one increases the other decreases, and as one decreases, the other increases.