I doubt my direction in life, can you give me some guidance?

Law of Attraction – Achieve Goals Series

I am a medical student who has lost passion for the course. If i really think about what I love in life it is to travel, to do photography and to love my family. Being a Doctor has been a goal of mine for years and I was really passionate about it in the first year. I failed one exam this year and I have more coming up now and I’m not sure that this stress is what I need.

I feel that life is too short and I’m making the most of it but I can’t afford to not do medicine because of my financial situation. I do not have wealthy parents or a proper job and I am living off the state as a student and becoming a doctor would mean that in the future I will have financial stability. I worry that because I am doubting it now I shouldnt continue the course but then I also worry that I will regret quitting later on in life.

Between college and university I took a gap year and travelled for 6 weeks, it was the best experience of my life and since I have been craving to go back out there and travel. I was a humble, happy person for months after travelling but I believe that student life has drawn it out of me. It is such a pretentious world and I have become lazy and unhappy. I, as most girls, have ‘issues’ with my body image and am constantly critisizing my weight which is ridiculous because I am below average for my height anyway.

I would like for all of my insecurities to go away, and I would like to feel that I don’t need to prove anything to my peers as I sometimes do.

Thank you for your time,
Yours Faithfully,

Alex

Dear Alex,

I notice that you sound like you are becoming a doctor for the money.  That is not good for you or your patients.

If that is true, then it explains why you are having trouble now, because you are doing it for the wrong reason.  If it is money you want, then you could be a stock broker or bank executive 🙂  (just teasing you to make the point).

Here is the question for you ask and answer yourself honestly; What is the REAL reason you are in medical school?  If it turns out to be money, then I think you should change your direction because you will not be happy in the long term, possibly.   But if you really want to help people, then you could put up photographs of sick people, perhaps the masses of India or Africa who need medical care but cannot get it.   Get any pictures of the people who you are becoming a doctor for, and look at those pictures every day, have them on your walls as your decoration, they will inspire you to keep going with a happy heart.

It would even be a good exercise for you to do the picture test.  Looking at pictures of sick people, notice your feelings and emotions.  You will see if you get the feeling that you want to help them and can, or if you just feel sorry for them, or if you think that is a shame, then go and do something else to take your mind off of them.

At your age, i can understand the joy of traveling.  I did many years of travel myself.  Traveling is wonderful because you are free, no one knows you, no one is going to demand anything of you, and if you do not like some place, you can just pack up and leave.  It is freedom.  That is the joy of travel, even if we see it as the adventure of new things, ultimately, it is the freedom to choose what you want and know that no one is going to call you and need you to do something for them.  But that could be just running away, which I am all for at times, but you can only run for so long.

As for your other insecurities, I feel that they are closely connected to following a profession for one reason that is not what you think.  Meaning that you think you are going to be a doctor to help people, but maybe it is to make money, or to help your mother, or for some other reason, to help sick people in general, even strangers, to get better.  Perhaps you doubt that doctors really can help.  Maybe you have seen or heard of sick people who the doctors could not help and so you doubt the entire medical profession and so you feel a bit of a hypocrite becoming a doctor.  You see, there are many subtle thoughts that can effect your self confidence in the major part of your life, your profession, and they will cause doubt in other things, including your looks and how you feel your peers think of you.

I hope this helps you find some direction but if not, of course, you are welcome to write to me again.

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