If you are having a disagreement to any degree, it is because you are taking the discussion or topic of what the other person is saying in some way related to you, either how it effects you, what you think you would do, the way you feel about it, or how you interpret it.
Not only in disagreements, but in every normal conversation, this is how we communicate because this is how our mind works, always relating everything to our own individual self. It stems from the animal instinct for survival and makes us view everything based on if it helps or hurts us in some way. This is a deeply subconscious fact of the human mind and personality.
Every interaction is filtered through a tie to your involvement or how it effects you in some way, about you, and never 100% about that person and their life.
To eliminate any level or degree of disagreement, you must see the discussion or what the person is saying, 100% from their point of view in relation to their life. Then you will understand what they are really saying.
The cause of misunderstanding is entirely because you are not listening with a pure, open mind and heart, that is entirely free of your own self-interests, and your own opinions.
If you could rid yourself of that way of listening, then you will never have a disagreement and all your conversations will be fluid, positive, and always lead to the best possible outcome.
Maybe not all perfect but at least better than they are now because it is going to be very hard to meet someone else who can understand and has mastered this principle. In order for conversations and the sharing of thoughts and feelings to be perfectly communicated, it takes both people to be this way.
This is easy to prove when you observe how frustrated you are when you talk to someone who does not understand you. You know that this is true, because when you are trying to explain yourself to someone who does not understand you, you know how frustrated you feel. If you cannot master this method of communication, and you try to get another person to do it, they will obviously never be able to do it either.
It begins with you, when you have altered your way of communicating, of listening, and you show another person through your example what you are like, and when they experience having a conversation to which they are truly understood, without any arguments, contradictions or conflicts, only then will that person have an opportunity to experience this way of talking to someone, this type of discussion.
Only then will they perhaps ask you to teach them how or will this new experience touch them in a way that they realize this is something good for them to learn.
Let us take this principle beyond simple communication skills and integrate it as a key factor in our emotional balance and freedom with one simple thought. How often do you feel a little hopeless or depressed by the thought that no one really understands you, and that makes you feel very alone.
Perhaps our feeling of aloneness would be alleviated if we could find anyone who could communicate in this way and truly, deeply understand what you are saying and therefore how you feel at any given moment.
Because on the surface level of conversation we cannot even get simple basic concepts across, we will certainly never speak about things that are important and deep in our heart, our true values of life. On a deeper emotional level we shut down and lose hope of being truly understood and attaining that deep connection with another person that every human being needs to feel safe and relaxed in their life.
My suggestion is that since finding a person like that is very difficult, let us all at least start becoming that person for other people. Hopefully, if this catches on, eventually you will meet someone who has also changed the way they are for the sake of a another person and you may just get lucky to find someone you can feel comfortable enough to truly open up to.
Please spread this article around if you agree with it and make it a viral concept spreading through the internet. There is a chance for simple things to reach billions of people in our world today, and we can all use a better world.